Vagina Songs Aplenty. “Vulva” Sits In The Corner, Sad.

A couple of videos have come out in the last week or so that celebrate women’s genitals. Or, to use their term, the vagina.

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Both of them are attempts at viral videos from companies that sell “feminine hygiene” products (that term always makes me cringe). The first one features a talking cat advocating the use of the word “Vaginal” as a substitute for “awesome”. The second one has a nice lady singing various euphemisms about the female genitals, similar to Eric Idle’s Penis Song (and, dare I say it, my own Paddling The Pink Canoe short film).

I like the vocabulary change that the cat is suggesting but I can’t in good conscience take it up since the company behind it is Summer’s Eve, which produces lots of sprays, gels and soaps for down there. They want us to celebrate our cunts while simultaneously telling us they’re filthy and smelly. That’s quite the mixed message. Summer’s Eve has previously had trouble by suggesting the best way to get a promotion was to douche.

The second one is better and it’s from a company I feel more comfortable with. The Mooncup is a silicon cup designed to be inserted inside the vagina during menstruation. It collects the blood in a more environmentally friendly way than disposable tampons or pads. I use a similar cup from Diva and they’re great. They’ve saved me a lot of money and it’s a much easier way of dealing with my period.

The comment I did want to make about both these videos is the use of the word “vagina” to describe a woman’s genitals. I’ve had my rants about this before here and here. Suffice to say, there’s a good reason to be pedantic about semantics here: put briefly, the emphasis on talking about the vagina implies that it’s the main source of female pleasure and it means the clitoris can be neglected when it comes time to stop talking and start humping.

When the cat talks about how fantastic the vagina is, I don’t disagree. The vagina can do lots of interesting things like accommodate both a penis and a baby. But I think the clitoris is far more impressive and worth celebrating. Wouldn’t it be cool if “that’s clitoral” was a replacement for “that’s awesome”?

The thing is, both videos are talking about “the vagina” as a region rather than as the specific birth canal. And that’s the colloquial term for a woman’s genitals; it’s what most people use to describe the cunt.

As much as I hate it, perhaps I’m just going to have to give in on this one. The Skepchick argues that insisting on “vulva” makes me a “pussy pedant” because language changes. It’s a fair cop.

Still, poor old vulva is sitting in a corner feeling very neglected. And I’m still going to picture speculums when people say “You can see her vagina”. Perhaps I need to start being obtuse and refer to men’s genitals as “the scrotum”. It’ll be a bit of fun, if nothing else.