Ms Naughty Porn for Women Blog

Here it is, the little film that kept me very preoccupied last week.

“Paddling The Pink Canoe” is a fun look at euphemisms for female masturbation. There are 44 individual slang terms used in the video. If you want the full list, visit the Pink Canoe page at FTG.

I originally only intended to make a short 30 second fun video as a promo for For The Girls but then things started to escalate. I felt like I needed more, so I scanned existing lists of euphemisms for filmable options. The shot list kept growing.

And then I went shopping for props. I went on an exhaustive but unrewarded search for a toy beaver. I found a paper lily but spent two hours looking for gold paint. We couldn’t find a clam at any of the seafood shops or supermarkets so in the end I used a shell from a local river shellfish (and we had rather a lot of fun sticking eyes and a beard on it). I also got very artistic when painting a taco pink and nearly crashed the car looking for signs with a “Y” on them.

After a while my husband and I became slightly deranged, always on the lookout for something euphemistic that we could use. We started to see masturbation everywhere.

The pink canoe was the biggest challenge. I had originally planned to use a toy boat but… well, do you think I could find one? I really didn’t expect to find a real pink canoe but, as luck would have it, a local kayak operator had just got one in the previous day. It was kind of weird to ring up and ask if he had a pink canoe, but he was very cool about the whole thing and even gave us a few euphemism suggestions of his own. I realise that a kayak is NOT a canoe, but we make do with what we can.

Yes, those are corned beef curtains, not ham. We obviously couldn’t do a full sized pair of curtains so a friend helped out with a doll’s house from their shed. That bit is probably the most over-the-top part of the video, but by crikey we giggled a lot when filming it.

So there it is. Not the most professional of movies but a bit of fun. If you like it, please tell your friends!

A couple of links to give you a giggle today:

Twitter switch for Guardian, after 188 years of ink – The Guardian makes an April 1 announcement of a complete move to Twitter for their news service AND they’ll be doing the archive as well. “OMG Hitler invades Poland. WTF?”

Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize For Medical Advancements Down There – A hilarious piece from satirical site The Onion.

During the remarkably noninvasive procedure, targeted blasts of radiation are delivered to the, err, naughty region through a special, well, wand-like device that is—ahem—inserted near the, ho boy, “affected area.”

You get the picture.

Links via Thomas Roche and The Girl on Twitter – of course!

Nearly three years ago I posted about The World’s Biggest Penis, citing Jonah Falcon as being the man with the biggest dick in the world.

It seems that this post does well with Google for some reason. And today someone asked for a clip from the documentary of the same name. I can’t find one (apart from a million bittorrents which I’m NOT going to recommend) but I did discover this rather amusing little short film offering a mocumentary about the man with the world’s biggest dick. Cute, although I can’t help but wish they’d put something heavy in the fake dick, just to make it a little more believeable.

This graphic is from the National Post’s sex survey page. I went there hoping for some useful statistics to blog about and instead found myself giggling at the pictures. Exactly what kind of “other” is that green guy on the bottom? I’m not surprised Mr Bald Gay guy is look askance at him. The bloke above Baldy may well be the nerdiest gay man on the planet while the black hetero guy is cleary extremely skeptical about the whole thing.

Too funny.

Taken from this page.