Ms Naughty Porn for Women Blog

Archive for the ‘Videos’ Category

It took five weeks but here, finally, is my little doco about the 2009 Berlin Porn Film Festival. It’s a little over 4 minutes and you’ll hear some great comments about feminist porn by some of the fab female directors I met including Shine Louise Houston, Anna Brownfield, Candida Royalle, Anna Span, Petra Joy, Jennifer Lyon Bell and Renee Pornero. Plus a quick cameo from Joe Gallant and footage from the Petra Joy Awards presentation.

A much longer version went live at For The Girls yesterday and I’ll also be uploading more footage there soon. Candida Royalle’s lecture about her films is particularly interesting – that’s waiting for a future update. I also wrote an expansive article about my experiences in Berlin for FTG.

The short blog version is that I had a ball, won an award, met lots of wonderful people and wished it could have gone for another 3 days. I didn’t get to enjoy nearly enough films because I was so busy with the Petra Joy Award but the ones I did see were amazing.

It was the people I met that really made it worthwhile. I interviewed Shine Louise Houston from the Crash Pad Series and was so impressed with her drive and knowledge. She’s a woman with a plan and she’s going to become even more of a force to be reckoned with in the future.

Well-known director Joe Gallant could well be the nicest man in the world. We talked the future of porn and hopefully we can work together at sometime next year. He said he thought I’d like Bong Water Butt Babes but I wasn’t so sure. He made me aware of how disconnected I am from the mainstream porn industry… something for which I’m kind of grateful.

Anna Brownfield is a card. We were so pleased to meet each other and had the comraderie of two Aussies lost in Europe, trying not to slip into slang when giving interviews. Her film The Band was such a standout and it shows you can easily marry explicit sex, comedy and great storytelling.

I also got to meet Lisa Vandever from Cinekink who is so much fun and easy to talk to, as is Vena Virago, a wild, pink haired artist who just happens to make porn for Vivid Alt. And I found myself getting stupidly protective towards the gorgeous Julie Simone, who is very quiet and shy, despite being a fearsome BDSM Mistress who can rock a rubber dress.

And then there’s Jennifer Lyon Bell of Blue Artichoke Films who I met last year. Jen is kind of like the social glue of the event, introducing people and arranging dinners and you couldn’t encounter a warmer, more positive person.

I even got to say hello to Candida Royalle, albeit briefly. Indeed, I cringe a little when I think about it. I was feeling a little starstruck and eagerly handed her my card which read Louise Lush. “That’s my new pretendy name,” I said.

Pretendy name??? Sheesh! I like to flatter myself that I have a decent vocabulary but do you think I could remember the word pseudonym for love or money at that moment? My husband has been teasing me about my pretendy name ever since.

OK, enough name dropping. Suffice to say I made lots of contacts and, as you see in the film, we all feel like we’ve found a family in Berlin.

I’ve since discovered quite a few of the short films on Youtube or other free sites around the web. I’m hoping to feature these on the blog in the future.

And as expensive as it is to travel all that way I think I’ll have to go back in 2010. The festival is too much fun and far too useful to miss out on.

This is an ad for Diet Coke from the 90s. Now, I abhor Diet Coke but this ad almost makes me forgive it for all its sins. That’s because this ad is a showcase for the female gaze – the idea of shooting from a woman’s point of view. Yes, it’s only advertising, but think about how often ads assume the viewer is male and trot out the standard bikini girls.

And the guy is kind of hot.

I’ve created a new site called The Female Gaze where I’m hoping to look at ads, photos and films that give priority to a female perspective. It’s still in its early stages but it will grow, I’m sure.

Get the Flash Player to see this player.

In 2005 I wrote about my love of the film Labyrinth. I also re-discovered the wonder that is David Bowie’s crotch.

If you haven’t seen Labyrinth, it’s basically a fantasy film created for young adults by Jim Henson (may peace be on his name). It’s got a lot of muppets, puppets and humour. It’s also chock full of sexual tension between Jennifer Connolly’s female protagonist and the evil Goblin King Jareth, played by David Bowie. And Bowie wears very tight tights throughout the film, giving multiple opportunities to admire his nether regions in all their outlined glory.

Fans of the film all have their special opinions about The Crotch. Some find it distracting but I’m with the ones who enjoy their fantasy spiced up with a lot of genital ogling.

And thus it is that I hired out the film recently and went a little beserk with my editing software. Thus I give to you the full compilation of The Crotch from every scene where it makes an appearance. Even the closeups. Especially the closeups.

I’m pleased to say the website devoted to David Bowie’s Area is still up and running.

Step One: Watch the movie Labyrinth. On the big screen if you get the chance. Pay extra-special attention to the “Dance, Magic Dance” scene and the part right after the oubliette, where Hoggle gives Jareth head. The camera seems magically drawn to David Bowie’s Area. There are even scenes when the bulge in Jareth’s tights is the only thing that’s fully in focus. Repeated viewings of Labyrinth will help aclimatize you with Bowie’s Area.

Step Two: Watch Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.

And it’s also good to know the film is still offending fundamentalist Christian nutjobs with it’s sexual immorality:

# innuendo of intercourse with “no love injection” in song, twice
# ghosting of male anatomy through thin clothing, repeatedly
# camera angle to force viewer on private parts, twice

Whatever you do folks, don’t let your kids watch Labyrinth. They’re bound to turn out just like me.

Edit: I realise the video is kinda small thanks to the impressive aspect ratio of the film. I actually went back in and re-edited with zoomed-in shots but, wouldn’t ya know it, the soundtrack went screwy and I can’t fix it. Suddenly I’ve got Davie Bowie and His Crotch in Spanish. Which I will post if I get enough comments clamouring for it.

Here’s a short promo video with snippets from my movie “That’s What I Like” – available exclusively from For The Girls.

I’ve had this song in my head for days so I thought I’d share it.

Tim Minchin is an Australian comedian with a very dark sense of humour. He’s also strangely attractive. I think it just goes to show how eyeliner on a man can be extremely sexy.

Also just have to include the following photo, officially called “Erotic Jesus Tim” because it’s gorgeous.

See more pics at the official Tim Minchin site.

Here’s a promo video I made for For The Girls. My favourite is the slow motion hottie at the end. And there’s just something about guys reaching into their pants that I find rather sexy. Can you tell?

My eyes, the goggles do nothing!

Yes folks, don’t say I never give you anything. Here he is in all his 1980s synthesizer glory, Mike The Superhero. Stay tuned for the bit at 1:50 when a lovely bit of pectoral flexing goes on. And yes, that is his own moustache.

What can I say? This is exactly why so many people believe that “women aren’t visual.” Thank goodness Manpower upped the ante a bit in the 90s.

Buckback Mountain: Clip 4

This is a relatively softcore clip from Buckback Mountain which stars female-to-male transsexual performer Buck Angel. I’ve been a fan of Buck for several years, especially since I interviewed him for For The Girls.

His website is well worth checking out because it does such a damned good job of messing with your head. Buck’s porn challenges ingrained ways of thinking about male and female roles… and it’s also very very sexy.

Here it is, the little film that kept me very preoccupied last week.

“Paddling The Pink Canoe” is a fun look at euphemisms for female masturbation. There are 44 individual slang terms used in the video. If you want the full list, visit the Pink Canoe page at FTG.

I originally only intended to make a short 30 second fun video as a promo for For The Girls but then things started to escalate. I felt like I needed more, so I scanned existing lists of euphemisms for filmable options. The shot list kept growing.

And then I went shopping for props. I went on an exhaustive but unrewarded search for a toy beaver. I found a paper lily but spent two hours looking for gold paint. We couldn’t find a clam at any of the seafood shops or supermarkets so in the end I used a shell from a local river shellfish (and we had rather a lot of fun sticking eyes and a beard on it). I also got very artistic when painting a taco pink and nearly crashed the car looking for signs with a “Y” on them.

After a while my husband and I became slightly deranged, always on the lookout for something euphemistic that we could use. We started to see masturbation everywhere.

The pink canoe was the biggest challenge. I had originally planned to use a toy boat but… well, do you think I could find one? I really didn’t expect to find a real pink canoe but, as luck would have it, a local kayak operator had just got one in the previous day. It was kind of weird to ring up and ask if he had a pink canoe, but he was very cool about the whole thing and even gave us a few euphemism suggestions of his own. I realise that a kayak is NOT a canoe, but we make do with what we can.

Yes, those are corned beef curtains, not ham. We obviously couldn’t do a full sized pair of curtains so a friend helped out with a doll’s house from their shed. That bit is probably the most over-the-top part of the video, but by crikey we giggled a lot when filming it.

So there it is. Not the most professional of movies but a bit of fun. If you like it, please tell your friends!

You may have noticed I haven’t been posting much this week. That’s because I’m having too much fun making a little short film. It started out as a 30 second promo and now it’s stretched to 3 minutes and I’m thinking of entering it into film festivals.

Can’t wait to get it finished and out there. The above song by the Divinyls is my ideal choice for the music (which will give you an idea of what the film’s about) but I’ve opted for cheaper royalty free stuff instead.

This is a great song, though and Chrissie Amphlett has always been kickarse when it comes to being aggressively sexy.

Found this great video about Candida Royalle on Youtube (via her site). If you’ve never seen any of her films this gives plenty of titillating glimpses into scenes from many of her films, plus a few short interviews and behind-the-scenes footage.

I’m surprised Youtube hasn’t deleted it, to be honest. It’s all very raunchy!

You’ll find all of Candida’s films on the Femme page at Porn Movies For Women.

This is pole vaulter Romain Mesnil’s way of trying to attract a new sponsor. He’s running naked through the streets of Paris, although unfortunately a black square tends to ruin the fun a bit.

Giddy up, I say. Let’s see more athletes earning the cash this way.

BBC has more info.

I’ve just had a mad 5 days attending a film festival, learning a whole lot, making new friends and watching some seriously inspiring movies. It’s also got my creative juices working again.

And this film about Procrastination was one of my favourites, because it sums up what I’ve been doing lately. NOT ENOUGH.

Procrastination is messing about on Facebook.
Procrastination is reading everyone’s posts on Twitter
Procrastination is buggerising about on Youtube
Procrastination is aimlessly wandering around the web with Stumbleupon
Procrastination is reading the Sydney Morning Herald
Procrastination is playing spider, endlessly
Procrastination is watching Oprah
Procrastination is looking for Asterix books on eBay
Procrastination is writing to-do lists without actually doing anything on the list
Procrastination is drinking wine on weeknights
Procrastination is joining Script Frenzy and then not coming up with a single idea
It’s having dozens of ideas and not following through on any of them
Procrastination is owning a bunch of domain names and not getting around to using them
It’s owning Celtx and YWriter and still not really knowing how to start (or how to use the software)

Procrastination is watching videos about procrastination
It’s blogging about the video, and making my own list of individual distractions
It’s putting off changing my life til tomorrow because I’m too tired today

Procrastination is putting off the inevitable.

Procrastination is making a cup of tea.

Procrastination is stopping me from writing a novel. From writing a screenplay. From making a film. From creating more websites. Procrastination is sucking my creativity, wasting my time, slowly eking away the precious seconds of my life.

The procrastination has to stop. Now.

(Youtube video no longer works and has been removed from this post).

Tony and Peggy have finally released their sixth wonderful real sex film, Bill and Desiree: Love Is Timeless. Judging from this preview, it looks just as interesting and visually sumptuous as their previous efforts.

Right now they’re offering a discount for early orders.

Click here to find out more.

Edit 4th December
Youtube have removed the Comstock preview video for violating its terms of service. The little clip, which featured a short shot of Bill and Desiree making love (but did not feature any graphic nudity or sex), is apparently too pornographic for such a family enterprise as Youtube. Naturally Tony has a lot to say on this topic.

I’ve only just finished deleting a piece of comment spam directing me to a bit of porn advertising on Youtube. It didn’t feature any nudity but it was spam nonetheless. The clip remains live. There are some astonishing examples of selective censorship on display here.

Nearly three years ago I posted about The World’s Biggest Penis, citing Jonah Falcon as being the man with the biggest dick in the world.

It seems that this post does well with Google for some reason. And today someone asked for a clip from the documentary of the same name. I can’t find one (apart from a million bittorrents which I’m NOT going to recommend) but I did discover this rather amusing little short film offering a mocumentary about the man with the world’s biggest dick. Cute, although I can’t help but wish they’d put something heavy in the fake dick, just to make it a little more believeable.