Category: Sex and Women

10 Jul

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Questioning The Moral Panic About “Sexualisation Of Children”

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It keeps popping up on TV talk shows and is used as a debate silencer by right-wing pundits. Religious groups use it to put pressure on politicians to create greater censorship. It’s the term “sexualisation of children” and I suspect that it’s bullshit.

I’ve been meaning to write a blog post on this for a while but today I’ve found that Australian researcher Catherine Lumby has pretty much summed things up. Catherine is part of a new research group called Onscenity which is looking at the new climate of sexual openness in the media and researching its effects – without the usual moral hysteria.

The Register reports on a recent conference held by the new group. I’m going to get a bit quote-happy with this as it has a lot to say:

The real problem, though, is that no one knows what “sexualisation” is: it is a convenient label used to position the child as always the victim, and then to pile every problem imaginable on top, including paedophilia, body image, sex trafficking and self-esteem. Once that particular juggernaut gets rolling, it is almost impossible to have a sensible debate about what’s really going on.

Too many so-called experts – most famously, Dr Linda Papadopoulos – were speaking well outside their field of expertise. Eating disorders get ascribed to “sexualisation”, despite the fact that most dietary experts would question that conclusion. Worse is the way in which this debate is almost always framed in moralising terms, and a key question must be what political motive lies behind such framing.

Equally of concern was the way in which “healthy sexuality” is so often equated to “non-commercial” – as though sex alone can be an activity free from all commercial influence.

[David] Buckingham’s contribution was echoed closely by Professor Catharine Lumby, Director of the Journalism and Media Research Centre at the University of New South Wales. She warned that a key driver to debate in this area is a parental view that “it must be possible to stop information getting out”. The current panic in Australia has its roots in a report – Corporate Paedophilia – which set the ball rolling in terms of claiming that children were being “sexualised”.

However, the report lacked all scholarship, being based on an inadequate sample, and contained no definition of sexualisation – or even what was meant by “child”. It was dominated by vox pop submissions from the Christian right, feminists and high-profile social commentators.

The entire debate was a trap, since as soon as someone declares an image erotic, it is then analysed in that context, as opposed to being viewed for whatever it is. In fact, Lumby suggested, it is arguable that analysing images by imposing an adult viewpoint on childhood activity is itself abusive.

Like Buckingham, Lumby felt that it was necessary to look at the political motives and context of the current panics. Buckingham suggested a concern with female working class sexuality, which was viewed as dangerous and in need of control. Absent from most debate was any view of boys or their sexuality, other than as a threat.

Lumby went further, expressing her utter surprise that some of the main proponents in this arena claimed the title of feminist, since in practice the whole debate was about policing how femininity should be performed. Moral critiques of imagery are highly normative – and therefore not in the interests of most women.

Finally, Clarissa Smith, programme leader of the MA media and cultural studies at the University of Sunderland, took issue with terms such as “pornification” and “pornographication” which, like sexualisation, are rarely defined, but assumed to be universally understood.

I do recommend you read the whole Register piece. I applaud these researchers for trying to see past the moralising bullshit and actually properly study this whole thing.

The word “sexualisation” really needs to raise a red flag because it is so regularly used by religious people, anti-porn feminists and conservatives. It’s a word that has an agenda behind it and it’s a word that is used to inflame emotion; it’s a “somebody think of the children!” diversion, a way to derail sensible discussion by creating fear.

The pic above is the book by Maggie Hamilton called “What’s Happening to Our Girls” which is often used to back up these moral panics (and it should be noted, Maggie Hamilton is a Christian who conducts “spiritual healing” workshops). I haven’t read it but I do have one critique already: the use of the words “our girls”. This book is saying that todays girls and young women are “ours”, not their own selves. Apparently it’s our job to make sure they conform to a certain sexual stereotype, one of virginity and “niceness”. The panic over “slutty” clothes, drinking and promiscuity is laden with expectations about how “our girls” should behave. We expect them to keep a social norm. “Sexualisation” is somehow breaking that norm.

The other thing about “sexualisation” is it assumes that children are sexless and that they should somehow be kept in a state of perfect innocence until they’re 18. Either that or there is a set age at which they should discover sex; “growing up too soon” indicates a standard that is not being met. And yet we know that children are sexual from the moment they are born and all children grow up differently. And, indeed, different cultures, societies and religions demand that this growing up occur at different stages. So “sexualisation” is also a culturally relative term.

One more thing that gets me about this particular moral panic: we see the “experts” calling for greater censorship of adult material (e.g. Australian group Kids Free 2 B Kids demanding that R-rated magazines like Playboy only be sold in adult shops) but they don’t seem to have a problem with “tween” magazines that encourage young girls to conform to a certain idea of femininity: fashion and makeup, to be specific. Surely teaching girls to paint their faces and obsess about the “right” clothes is teaching them to be sexual as well? Where are the calls to ban Dolly magazine?

If we are going to be concerned about “sexualisation”, where is the outrage over the “Shine” program, a fundamentalist Christian outreach program that is currently being introduced into Australian schools? The program sees older women teaching girls as young as 9 how to put on makeup and make themselves “nice” for the boys. It also re-enforces stereotypical gender roles and, of course, seeks to “bring girls to Jesus” through the wonder of fashion. We don’t see Kids Free 2 B Kids campaigning against that.

The question is, what is the “right message” about sex that girls and young women should be receiving? As a sex positive feminist, I’m always on the side of education, not censorship. You can’t blindfold kids or put them in a burka. They’re living in the 21st century and the media is part of their everyday lives. So, talk to them about it. Teach them how to interpret images and think for themselves. Encourage self esteem so they are more confident and able to cope with the conflicting information offered by advertising, TV, films, magazines and the internet. Don’t create expectations of rigid gender roles or physical or mental conformity.

And don’t react with panic when the topic of sex comes up. If there’s one thing that is GUARANTEED to harm kids and teenagers with regards to sex, it is negative parental attitudes and a repressive home environment. Indeed, it’s entirely possible that the ongong drama about “sexualisation” is actually doing more harm than good.

Update 22nd July
Dr Petra Boynton has written an excellent post called Sexualisation of Young People report released. How useful are the findings? Here’s your chance to find out. She urges the media and anyone else who’s interested to read the reports and take the time to analyse the findings. There’s a lot of reading to be done but Dr Petra does make an interesting summary of the Scottish research which seems to have started from a less biased background. Maybe it’s confirmation bias but this paragraph stood out at me:

‘Sexualisation’ is not an issue that immediately worries parents or teens, but when prompted it seems parents are far more worried about it than young people, and are often more concerned about the sexualised behaviour of other children rather than their own child. Indeed their work suggested a lot of parental anxiety over Sexualisation manifested itself in parents talking about how girls should behave and act in appropriate and modest fashions. Young people, meanwhile, seemed more aware of the media and potential sexualising influences than expected, although the authors acknowledge there are still issues about sexuality needing addressing. In short they concluded sexualisation is a complex issue that can’t be fixed with simplistic suggestions for policy change.

It does seem to be a feature of much of the discussion about “sexualisation” that young women are assumed to always be victims without any agency or media savvy whatsoever. It’s obviously a flawed idea, especially when so many young people are completely immersed in their own media environments and aren’t wide-eyed babes in the woods. One of the wonderful things about the internet is that is that it has been able to provide a wealth of educational content about sex and also a wide variety of opinion and criticism of mainstream culture.

As always, education and critical thinking are the key.

22 Jun

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The G-Spot Is Connected To The Clitoris

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Vagina sonogramThere’s a part of me that’s still rather stunned that in 2010, people are conducting research into whether “the vaginal orgasm” exists. Because for a while now, I’ve held the opinion that the concept of the vaginal orgasm is nonsense, and not just because of that lovely 1970 feminist essay The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm.

For me, the idea was put to bed in 1999 when Dr. Helen O’Connell published her ground-breaking research that revealed our little friend the clitoris is a hell of a lot bigger than anyone thought. Her anatomical studies showed the clitoris extended deep into the pelvis and surrounded the vagina and that, given the reach of the little man in the boat, any orgasms achieved through vaginal stimulation occurred via indirect stimulation of the clitoris. It’s really the most sensible explanation.

Nonetheless there seems to be a continuing meme that says orgasms obtained via stimulation of the vagina or G-spot alone are somehow anatomically different. I don’t think the anatomy bears this out. If we consider that we don’t talk about male orgasms in terms of “penile orgasms” versus “prostate orgasms”, why do we keep making this distinction with women? Female orgasms originate in the clitoris but other forms of stimulation can set it off.

In any case, this rant has been inspired by the research detailed here which was looking into the relationship of the clitoris and the vagina during orgasm. They performed sonograms on a number of women, both at rest and when performing kegel exercises. The women were asked to identify their G-spot during the sonogram. The researchers found that clenching the pelvis brings the clitoris much closer to the vagina… and the G spot was the place where the clit came in closest.

Which suggests that the G-spot is a part of the vagina that can easily reach the clitoris. The fact that some women can’t find their G-spot can then be explained by natural anatomical differences. Indeed, the whole thing where 30% of women can get off from penetration alone suggests these lucky women won some kind of biological jackpot because their clitorises are closer to the vag.

This is speculation on my part but the research does seem to point in that direction. So, there’s your science lesson for today.

21 Jun

5 Comments

60% of Cosmo Readers Have Watched Porn

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Cosmopolitan sex survey resultsI remember when I stopped reading Cosmopolitan in my first year of university. It was one of the best things I ever did. The endless fashion, diets and super-skinny models always left me feeling bad about myself so I decided that it would be best if I just disengaged from that aspect of “women’s culture.”

It’s 20 years on and Cosmo hasn’t changed. Still, it’s a hugely popular magazine that many women do enjoy and when they come up with a sex survey, I can’t help but be a little curious. If you can get past the very first question which reveals that absolutely none of the respondents identified as gay, there’s some interesting titbits in there.

Naturally I leapt on this statistic:

Have you ever watched porn?
37% said yes, I love it
23% said yes, but only with a boyfriend
15% said yes, once – but I didn’t like it
14% said no, but I’d be open to it
8% said no, I hate the idea.
3% said no, because it’s exploitative

That’s statistically larger than a lot of other surveys suggest. The average figure seems to be 30% (a la Nielsen Netratings) but UK Cosmo women are keener on their porn – whether enjoying it by themselves or using it as a tool within their sexual relationship. That’s 60% right there. Add the other 14% who didn’t have a problem with the idea and you’re pretty much saying that 75% of Cosmo readers are OK with porn. Quite the impressive statistic.

Also, I think I’ll gloat a bit that not a lot of Cosmo chicks are into Dworkinesque anti-porn feminism – a measly 3%. Seems the Stop Porn Coalition have a long way to go to win over your average woman into their “all porn is bad” campaign.

OK, so this was an online self-selected survey done by a commercial women’s magazine. The page doesn’t say exactly how many women did the survey (beyond “thousands”) or what the demographics were, so it’s not the most scientific bit of research out there. Nonetheless, if we consider the sheer numbers of women who do read Cosmopolitan, it certainly suggests that more and more women are openly enjoying porn.

Just to give an idea of some of the other trends, based on what was most popular:
Your average Cosmo woman has sex 2-3 times a week in the missionary position, doesn’t have an orgasm as often as she would like and rarely has an orgasm from penetrative sex alone (oral sex or manual stimulation is better). She will still fake orgasms occasionally, will rarely have sex on the first date and prefers men who make her laugh.

05 May

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This Load Of Guilt And Shame Brought To You By “Dirty Girls Ministries”

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Purity Workshop only $99 religious crap
I’ve long considered the idea of “porn addiction” to be bullshit. Now I’ve got another example of just how bullshit it is.

Dirty Girls Ministries (I’m not going to link to them) is a new website created by evangelical Christian group the Westside Family Church. It aims to “help women struggling with pornography addiction” through “confession, prayer support, resources for accountability and many other tools.”

Yes folks, the loony Christians have discovered porn for women and they’re determined to put a stop to it. A Focus On The Family website, promoting Dirty Girls, reported with horror that: “Porn producers are actually producing this erotica for women. It’s more based on relationships, more storylines, things like that.”

Dirty Girls Ministries offers a forum for women to confess their “addiction”, a blog that talks an awful lot about Jeeezus, a filtering program to “fight internet temptation” and podcasts. And, surprise surprise, there’s a link to a “30 day purity program”, an online workshop available for the low low price of $99. Yes folks, you too can be pure, but only if you’re prepared to pay for it.

As you click through the site you’re constantly bombarded by the words “sin”, “dirty”, “pure”, “clean”. This site declares looking at porn to be adultery, it’s absolute sin that you must turn away from and, of course, embrace the church instead. Preferably with your wallet open. Dirty Girls Ministries offers to replace your porn “addiction” with a shitload of guilt and shame. Check out this blog post:

I will always be dirty. In reality. My cleanliness has NOTHING to do with what I watch or don’t watch. It has everything to do with the condition of my heart. My heart, when left on its own, will drift back to dirty.

Yes, I won’t view pornography again and I won’t have an extramarital affair, either emotional or physical, but whether or not I’m a DIRTY GIRL has less to do with what do and more to do with what direction I face my heart.

If my life is faced toward the Cross, if that is where I truly place my eyes, then the unkemptness of the world has less of a hold on my heart. I will desire good things and the ick of immorality sicken my stomach.

This kind of guilt trip is pretty much a modus operandi for many religions. If they can make you feel bad about natural human desires and needs, then you’ll think the church is your only hope for redemption.

Here are the facts: Addiction is a physical condition, a medical diagnosis. It’s the body’s response to certain chemicals. Nicotine, alcohol and drugs create addictions. Porn doesn’t.

Porn offers arousal and sexual fantasy. It usually results in masturbation or sex. If a person enjoys that response, there is nothing wrong with that. It is perfectly natural for a human being to enjoy sex and to want more of it. That’s what we’re biologically designed to do. There is nothing sinful or shameful about it.

Of course, some people can develop an obsession or compulsion, which is entirely different to addiction. If someone spends too much time with porn and it puts their life out of balance, then there’s a problem. But it’s not the porn that’s the cause, it’s that person’s obsessive personality.

Fact is, plenty of people can look at porn, enjoy it and then get on with their life. They can happily make use of it as a tool in their sex lives, just like a vibrator. And then it’s put away and done with. Most people are also able to make critical judgements about what they’re watching, decide if it’s good or bad, and make decisions about where porn belongs in their life.

There are some people, however, who can’t do this thanks to their obsessive personalities. Those people should be seeing qualified counsellors to get their life back together. They absolutely should NOT be handed over to religious nutjobs who make the situation worse by inculculating the victim with further guilt and shame… and then extract cash for the privilege.

This is why the regular use of the term “porn addiction” (and “sex addiction”) is so troubling. It’s actually part of the religious right’s wider anti-sex agenda. They’re opposed to porn and they will use any devious means necessary to get rid of it. The usual arguments about “sin” started to fall on deaf ears so they began to couch it in medical terms, in an attempt to garner support for bans.

Thus you end up with Judith Reisman telling the US senate that porn produces poisonous “erototoxins” that damage the brain. According to Wikipedia, Reisman defined “erototoxins” as being the natural chemicals and hormones testosterone, adrenaline, oxytocin, glucose, dopamine, serotonin, and phenylethylamine.

That’s right. These people actually think testosterone and the pleasure-producing chemicals serotonin and oxytocin are harmful. They also push the idea that masturbation is sinful and addictive because, according to the X3pure website: “Studies have shown that ninety-nine percent of all masturbation involves lust and mental fantasy*, which disconnects you from real relationships with real people. Despite these difficulties, masturbation can be conquered. If your desire is to change, God can heal and bring restoration.”

And these fundamentalists will keep pushing their message that all porn and pleasure is dangerous because it is ultimately gets more people through the doors of their church and paying 10% tithes into the church coffers.

Unfortunately, Dirty Girls Ministries was given a publicity boost this week thanks to a credulous New York Times article about it. The “journalist” John Leland didn’t bother to interview any actual psychologists or skeptics for opposing viewsand the NYT was perfectly happy to include links to several religious anti-porn organisations.

I’ve said it before in this blog: I think today’s mainstream porn is extremely problematic and it is well worth discussing its meaning in our society. But the fact remains that it is not addictive. And if the media continues to push this religiously-defined way of thinking about porn, the results will ultimately be far more harmful than any scare campaign the churches can think up.

For a different and more humourous perspective on the religious idea of “porn addiction” please visit my site ExExExChurch.

* What does the other 1% involve?

27 Apr

2 Comments

In The Wake Of The Boobquake

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BoobquakeMonday, April 26 was the first official Boobquake This strangely viral event was first suggested by atheist feminist Jennifer McCreight on her blog Blag Hag. Jen’s suggestion was inspired by the nonsense spouted by an Islamic cleric suggesting that women’s immodesty caused earthquakes. Her original blog post reads:

This little bit of supernatural thinking has been floating around the blogosphere today:

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran’s acting Friday prayer leader.

I have a modest proposal.

Sedighi claims that not dressing modestly causes earthquakes. If so, we should be able to test this claim scientifically. You all remember the homeopathy overdose?

Time for a Boobquake.

On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own. Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that’s your preferred form of immodesty.

Jen set up a Boobquake Facebook page which has since gone viral, with almost 70,000 fans. With the day finished, it seems to have been a success: there’s been no major earthquakes recorded there’s been one relatively big earthquake in Taiwan. But still, since earthquakes happen every single day, it’s neither here nor there. I prefer the way the Register put it: Boobquake fails to destroy planet.

Jen’s original idea was to send up the completely unscientific claims of a religious nutbag. She wanted to thumb her nose at the idea that “modesty” is the ultimate ideal for women and to deny the assertion that dressing “immodestly” causes men to rape.

Nonetheless, that idea seems to have been subsumed in the last week as a number of feminists have denounced the whole concept as against the sisterhood. The Boobquake, they claim, can’t possibly be a feminist event, especially because so many men have jumped on the bandwagon with cries of “show us your tits!” They say that Boobquake feeds into old ideas about judging women only by their appearance. Someone has suggested a “Brainquake” as an alternative.

Showing off your boobs, it seems, is always a capitulation to the enemy. And the enemy is men, of course. Thus, Jen has been cast as a traitor to feminism for coming up with the idea of the Boobquake.

I’ve got no time for that kind of anti-sex feminism. When the main point is to give the middle finger to a religious dictatorship that bans women from wearing whatever they want, why are some feminists telling women to cover up?

Women’s rights are human rights. And women should be allowed to wear what they want – and that includes happily showing off their boobs on the internet. If that is her choice, it’s a feminist choice. She may be making a political statement or she may be doing it to make money or she may just be an exhibitionist. Whatever the case, it’s her choice.

What’s interesting here is that it’s the Boobquake participants who are considered to be betraying feminism. Why? Where is the criticism for the men who are making the “show us your tits!” comments? Surely that’s where our attention should go. If women want to show off their boobs to make a political statement, the guys should offer their support, not make inane and juvenile comments.

Yes, women’s bodies have been commercialised and objectified by Western society but condemning any overt display of sexuality is not the way to fight the problem. That’s simply replacing one form of oppression with another.

I’m happy that thousands of women are showing off their boobs as part of a political statement. It’s sending a message to the religious crazies of the world: we’re proud of our bodies and we refuse to be told what to do simply because your dusty old book says something misogynist. In short: fuck off.

Here’s another great post about the feminist response to Boobquake. I love this quote:

Don’t let ideological feminists shame you into covering yourself up, or pressure you into exposing yourself. Your body is YOURS. It is yours to show off however you like, whether physically, intellectually, or otherwise.

Jen also offered this clarification in her blog. She is amazed that what she considered to be a casual joke has gone so crazy.

Update: Here’s Jen’s official scientific analysis of Boobquake. What a shock: all that immodesty did not increase the average number of daily earthquakes.

I love that she has gone to so much effort to turn this into a proper science experiment. She’s a wonderful nerd!

13 Apr

2 Comments

Great Reading: Bonk

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Bonk: The curious coupling of sex and scienceI’m helping a friend out with his online bookshop today which means I’ve spent several hours cataloguing books and wishing I had time to read them all.

I’m pleased to say I’ve encountered a number of great books about sex but the one I’m dying to get my hands on is Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Sex & Science by Mary Roach.

This is a book that offers you a huge number of weird and wonderful scientific facts about sex and at the same time aims to make your sex life better. What more could you want from a book?

Here’s the official blurb:

If you can transplant a face, then why not a penis? Why doesn’t Viagra help women or, for that matter, pandas? Does an orgasm boost fertility? Cure hiccups? Do the earlobes swell during sex? Can a person think herself to orgasm? Can a dead man get an erection? Can Kegeling cure erectile dysfunction? Can Broadway musicals cause it? Is vaginal orgasm a myth?

The study of sexual physiology – what happens, and why, and how to make it happen better – has been a paying career or a diverting sideline for scientists as far-ranging as Leonardo da Vinci, James Watson and Napoleon Bonaparte’s great grand-niece Marie. The research has taken place behind the closed doors of laboratories, brothels, MRI centres, pig farms, sex-toy R & D labs, and Alfred Kinsey’s attic. Mary Roach has devoted the past two years to stepping behind those doors. The result is Bonk – everything you wanted to know about sex but couldn’t imagine that someone in a white lab coat had studied. Few things are as fundamental to human happiness as satisfying sex. Bonk is both an ode to a fascinating and vital pursuit and a reminder that there is still much to learn. Sexual arousal and orgasm are two of the most complex, delightful, utterly amazing scientific phenomena on earth. Sexology, as Roach approaches it, is right up there too.

So the amazing bookshop I’m helping out is Embiggen Books which is a science, art and reason-celebrating bookshop. If you’re Australian you’ll find it cheaper to order from this shop than Amazon thanks to the reduced postage.

They’ve also got a surprising amount of books about sex – but they’re all guaranteed to be smart, sexy and engrossing.

Filed Under: Sex and Women

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09 Apr

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Found: Victorian-Era Sex Survey Of Women

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Dr. Mosher and her sex surveyStanford Magazine reports on the extraordiary discovery of a sex survey conducted in the 1890s by Dr. Clelia Duel Mosher, a professor at that university. The good Dr. collected questionaires asking women to reveal their intimate thoughts on sex. It’s now the earliest known sex survey on record and reveals some surprising information about Victorian-era women.

The Mosher Survey recorded not only women’s sexual habits and appetites, but also their thinking about spousal relationships, children and contraception. Perhaps, it hinted, Victorian women weren’t so Victorian after all.

Indeed, many of the surveyed women were decidedly unshrinking. One, born in 1844, called sex “a normal desire” and observed that “a rational use of it tends to keep people healthier.” Offered another, born in 1862, “The highest devotion is based upon it, a very beautiful thing, and I am glad nature gave it to us.”

Slightly more than half of these educated women claimed to have known nothing of sex prior to marriage; the better informed said they’d gotten their information from books, talks with older women and natural observations like “watching farm animals.” Yet no matter how sheltered they’d initially been, these women had—and enjoyed—sex. Of the 45 women, 35 said they desired sex; 34 said they had experienced orgasms; 24 felt that pleasure for both sexes was a reason for intercourse; and about three-quarters of them engaged in it at least once a week.

Dr. Mosher was a very determined woman and an early feminist. The article is well worth reading.

Filed Under: Sex and Women

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18 Feb

4 Comments

Women Are Watching More Porn Than Ever

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Sun survey about women and pornWomen are watching more porn than ever. At least, that’s the conclusion if you read The Sun’s latest survey (and I will admit, The Sun must be taken far less seriously than other newspapers).

Around 76 per cent of women now admit* to using porn – a ten per cent rise on the two-thirds of girls who admitted to watching porn with their partners in a survey last year.

The most popular format is online porn, which is watched by 61 per cent of couples. Just one couple in 20 looks at magazines, while 18 per cent get their kicks watching porn DVDs on the telly.

The survey of 4,200 women also revealed four in five women like to dress up for their other halves and indulge in role play.

The most popular outfit is a French maid, used by 42 per cent, followed by nurses, chosen by a quarter of women.

The survey was actually by a site called Netmums which gives you an idea of the demographics. Apparently women have a lot less time and energy for sex at the moment but they’re putting more effort into it when they get the chance.

* I hate how newspaper use the word “admit” like porn use is a crime. It casts the whole thing into a negative light. Thankfully the article includes interviews with (and photos of) three typical porn-loving women. This is a really positive thing to include because it shows that women who like a bit of porn are just everyday, normal chicks who want to enjoy their sex lives using whatever tools are available to them.

Filed Under: Porn, Sex and Women

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18 Jan

5 Comments

A Negative Yet Nuanced Article About Porn

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Screenshot from the Times PageThis morning I read an opinion piece by Natasha Walter in The Times Online called How Teenage Access To Pornography Is Killing Intimacy In Sex. The headline is pure moral panic but I was surprised to find that this extensive article actually contained a real attempt to be vaguely balanced in its anti-porn argument. Normally these kinds of pieces are all hysteria and generalisations and Dworkin-style feminism. This one went close to that but then tried a bit harder. These paragraphs were what gave me pause:

Now that the classic feminist critique of pornography — that it necessarily involves or encourages abuse of women — has disappeared from view, there are few places that young people are likely to hear much criticism or even discussion about its effects.

Many women who would call themselves feminists have come to accept that they are growing up in a world where pornography is ubiquitous and will be part of almost everyone’s sexual experiences. I can see why some are arguing that the way forward really rests on creating more opportunities for women in pornography, yet I think it is worth looking at why some of us still feel such unease with the situation as it is now.

I do not believe that all pornography inevitably degrades women, and I do see that the classic feminist critique of pornography is too simplistic to embrace the great range of explicit sexual materials and people’s reactions to them. Yet let’s be honest. The overuse of pornography does threaten many erotic relationships, and this is a growing problem. What’s more, too much pornography does still rely on or promote the exploitation or abuse of women. Even if you can find porn for women and couples on the internet, nevertheless a vein of real contempt for women characterises so much pornography.

It’s very rare that writers actually acknowledge the existence of alternative porn such as the stuff I make. And I find that rather pleasing because it means they can’t get away with the “all porn is bad” or “all porn hurts women” nonsense. They also can’t then start arguing for censorship because they’re aware it would harm sex-positive erotic expression.

And the fact is that I too have major concerns about the ongoing misogyny and negative attitudes that pervade mainstream porn. I too wonder what it’s teaching young people and whether it’s reinforcing sexism or making guys into bad sexual partners.

My problem, though, is with the assumption that this is absolutely and definitely happening to a large number of men. And the reason I have a problem with it is because there is no scientific evidence to back up that claim. In the article Natasha writes:

For a long time I was sceptical about the claim that the internet had really changed people’s access and attitudes to pornography. Those who want it have surely always been able to find it, whether they were living in 5th-century Athens or the 1950s. But the evidence (my italics) has convinced me that the internet has driven a real change for many people, especially younger people.

She then goes on to quote statistics about how many teens and men are using porn but she fails to then offer any proof that the use of porn is then causing harm.

And that’s the real problem with these kinds of articles. The writer can come up with numerous individual anecdotes that back up their point (in this case, a lengthy interview with “Jim” who became obsessed with porn as a teen) but there’s no real, proper research offered to back up those individual cases.

I too find it disturbing when I hear of women saying their partners became crap in bed after they’d gotten a little too interested in mainstream porn… but can that be extrapolated into a wider trend within the male population?

Fact is, no huge studies have been done to prove it. And here’s the other problem: you’re gonna need a seriously massive study to see any kind of trend. Because the internet means that everybody looks at porn now and if you then think about whether this ubiquitous thing is having a visible, quantifiable effect on vast numbers of men… well, I just don’t see it. In theory we should be witnessing the wholesale destruction of relationships, increasing sexism in our everyday interactions, major psychological problems becoming commonplace among men but it’s just not there.

Instead you could point to the studies that show incidences of rape and sexual harrassment fell in the last ten years. Or even the recent very small survey in Canada that sought to answer these very questions. The researcher originally made headlines because he was unable to find any men who didn’t use porn for his control group. But he did discover that the men in his study watch porn with a cynical eye and that it doesn’t lead to criminal behaviour.

Thus, I don’t really buy into the argument that mainstream porn is making men into complete bastards even if it does make some kind of logical sense. And yet I do want to continue the discussion about what meanings mainstream porn IS constructing and what it means for teens who are, unfortunately, getting their sex education from porn. I’m all for talking about what’s wrong with the depictions of women and sex and advocating for a more positive portrayal of sexuality.

And I’m certainly keen on bringing men into the conversation and hearing what they think about it. Because too often articles like Natasha’s make generalisations about “what men think” without recourse to actually asking them. I actually like to hope that most guys do take porn with a grain of salt, aware that it often appeals to negative emotions or base impulses. And perhaps if we can get that discussion going, more men’s consciousness can be raised to the point that they’re aware of the problematic nature of mainstream porn.

Education and communication is the solution to this puzzle. It always is.

For another view on this, please read The Thin Line Between Pearl-Clutching And Concern at The Pursuit of Harpyness. A good dissection of the issue AND I just love the term “pearl clutching”.

Filed Under: Feminism, Porn, Sex and Women

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16 Jan

26 Comments

The Strange Politics Of “Obscene” Bodily Fluids

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G Spot and Female EjaculationThe Australian Classification Board has decided to ban any adult films that feature female ejaculation because they deem the liquid expelled during squirting to be urine. Thus, it comes under the umbrella of “water sports” which our good censors deem to be an obscene activity that should never be depicted on film.

Never mind that female ejaculation has been scientifically documented. Not all women are able to ejaculate but those that do tend to expel a clear liquid through the urethra from the paraurethral ducts during orgasm. There’s some debate as to what the liquid exactly is comprised of but most experts agree that it is NOT urine.

For more information on the whole deal about female ejaculation, read New Scientist’s 2009 article Everything you always wanted to know about female ejaculation (but were afraid to ask). You might also want to have a look at Violet Blue’s page on the G-spot.

There’s also plenty of anecdotal evidence from women who experience ejaculation. Those who are in touch with their bodies and their sexuality know that squirting is very different to urination.

The whole issue has been well documented elsewhere so I don’t need to add much more beyond saying that it is a very real phenomenon. It also needs to be pointed out that Anna Span has only recently made the British Board of Classificiation see sense on this topic – and even then the decision has been made begrudgingly.

What all this discussion about squirting and paraurethral glands and water sports does do is shine a light on the nonsense of declaring some bodily fluids OK and others “obscene”.

One thing all the censors seem to agree on is that semen is an above-board bodily fluid. It can be ejaculated anywhere – internally, onto a woman’s body or face, across the Russian wallpaper – and it can even be mixed into milkshakes and drunk. If 20 guys all want to ejaculate their semen onto a woman lying on the floor waiting – or onto each other – that’s A-OK, thanks very much. Nothing kinky about that, it’s just normal sexual activity.

If a woman ejaculates onto a man’s face, however, that’s a fetish. That mean’s in Australia it’s offensive, obscene and Australians should not be allowed to see it lest it corrupt our immortal souls. Or something.

The same goes for urine and menstrual blood. Beyond the pale. Those bodily fluids have no place in nice normal sex, thank you very much. (For more on menstruation porn, please read Tasty Trixie’s excellent post Menstruation: The Last Taboo?.

Like so many aspects of censorship, this careful delineation between “good” bodily fluids and “bad” ones shows up just how ridiculous the concept of “obscenity” can become. By what reasoning is semen OK but female ejaculate or urine bad? Is it just simple, individual squeamishness?

Look at the ban on water sports as an example. If we consider that some consenting adults happily indulge in urine-play in their own bedrooms (or bathrooms), why should it not be able to be depicted on film?

I’m not in any hurry to see that kind of thing because it’s not my bag and I know that plenty of people feel the same way but our own sexual preferences shouldn’t mean that other less popular sex practices should be banned. I don’t have to watch films with water sports; that’s an individual, adult choice. In theory, that’s what “classification” is about – telling me what to expect from a film so I am free to make my own decisions.

As always, if it’s safe, sane, consensual and done in private then it’s nobody’s business but those involved. This should apply to acts shown in sexually explicit films, books and websites as well.

Squirting is a very real aspect of female sexuality. By labelling it “obscene”, the censors are making a statement about what a “normal” woman should experience in bed. They’re saying that those women who are able to ejaculate are freaks, somehow, and that the enjoyment of their natural bodily fluids is fetishistic – psychologically wrong.

That’s a pretty damaging and sexist thing to say.

I should also point out that the Classification Board considers fisting to be an obscene fetish as well. Never mind that fisting is an activity consensually enjoyed by many lesbians, an intimate sexual act that can form a common part of their everyday sexual repertoire. Nope. Those lesbians are obscene and kinky and wrong as well.

Consensual adult activities such as spanking, piercing and the dripping of candle wax are also banned.

Australia’s censorship laws and the decisions made by the Classification Board seek to define a “normal” version of sexuality, one that is increasingly vanilla and yet still male-oriented. Their rules help to maintain the porn status quo and, unfortunately, it limits the opportunity for alternative expressions of sexuality.

It also puts a lot of independent and female-produced erotica at a disadvantage.

A lot of the ground-breaking films and websites made by feminists overseas feature acts the Board deems “obscene” and yet these are the porn movies that are breaking the old mould of misogynist, cliched porn. I originally became interested in porn because I liked the idea of it but hated the majority of stuff I saw (mostly produced by mainstream porn companies in the US). Since then I’ve found so many great artists who are putting their vision of erotica out into the world in a holistically ethical way – and their work includes spanking, female ejaculation, fisting and BDSM as part of a wider vision of female sexuality.

As a writer, webmistress and filmmaker I’m keen to make a difference, to help make sex positive, female-friendly material but it’s demoralising when even the government gives the thumbs up to facial cumshots but declares female ejaculation to be wrong.

I’ve written it before and I’ll say it again. By all means, classify and rate media to assist adults to make decisions. But do not have the presumption to officially declare one thing “offensive” and “obscene” based purely on subjective, personal opinion.

And that’s what it is with the Classification Board. They pretend to reflect “community values” but they refuse to conduct any research into exactly what people really think. They are the unelected moral gatekeepers for the rest of us, making decisions to ban material based purely on their own judgement, without recourse to real data on what “reasonable adults” think or whether what they are banning causes any harm to the viewer.

In a free society, someone else should not be able to make that decision for me. I’m a grown adult and I consider myself to be perfectly reasonable and ethical. I do not find female ejaculation or spanking or piercing or fisting to be obscene. It hasn’t turned me into a mad rapist, or a drug addict, or any kind of degenerate person. Being able to view these things on the internet has done me no harm whatsoever.

Of course, I do find plenty of other things to be distasteful or offensive but I would never dream of stopping anyone else from seeing them. If it’s safe, sane, consensual and done in private, it’s none of my damn business.

* Pic is of Deborah Sundahl‘s Loving Sex: The G Spot And Female Ejaculation. Presumably this will now be banned in Australia along with other educational films on the topic like Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to the G-Spot and Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation. If they’re not banned, it might be because the ejaculate only went onto the sheets. Suddenly, accuracy is everything!

15 Jan

37 Comments

Female Ejaculation Films To Be Banned In Australia

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I’ve received a circular from the Eros Association, the advocacy group for the Australian adult industry. Thanks to shit stirring by a fundamentalist Christian group, the rules have been tightened as to what adult films can be imported into Australia.

The Classification Board has explicitly stated that films featuring female ejaculation will now be seized and considered RC – refused classification. Effectively banned. This also means that female ejaculation sites will be considered RC (prohibited) for the purposes of the internet filter planned to be introduced here this year.

Eros says:

The Classification Board have determined that female ejaculation is not a real event and therefore all issue from a women’s vagina is piss and therefore covered under the parameters in the Guidelines for ‘golden showers’. This means that if the shower happens to land on the body or in the mouth it is determined to be an offensive fetish and goes RC. The Classification Board’s finding that female ejaculation does not exist is something we will contest with them as there is a body of scientific (and personal) evidence that says otherwise. Even last month on the ABC Science Show with Dr Norman Swan, they spent an hour with scientists discussing this phenomenon and how it was not urine.

I’m glad Eros is going to fight this. It gets me hopping mad that a government can perpetuate this nonsense and are so eager to do the will of prudes and ignorant religious nutters who wish to meddle in the sex lives of others.

The sooner our outdated classification (censorship) system is abolished, the better. They should not have the right to ban films based on subjective, religious, unscientific, biased and sexist opinion as to what is and isn’t “obscene.”

* Please read my follow up post The Strange Politics of “Obscene” Bodily Fluids.

* Update 27th Jan: Please read my new post: Now Australia is banning small boobs

12 Oct

1 Comment

IGAD! International Gynae Awareness Day

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Gynae Awareness Information NetworkI’m disappointed I missed it this year: International Gynae Awareness Day (and week) was on September 10. It aims primarily to encourage the breaking down of entrenched social, and cultural taboos, still surrounding most things ‘gynaecological’.

It was founded by Kath Mazella, who 15 years ago endured radical surgery to overcome vulval cancer; she had her vulva and clitoris removed to save her life. She’s now working to make sure this doesn’t have to happen to other women.

Now I considered myself to be fairly well informed about sexual health matters so I’m amazed I’d never heard of vulval cancer. And to be honest, it scares the crap out of me. Cervical cancer, ovarian cancer… we all know about those. But this? Losing your clit? That’s fucking dreadful! How do we check for this? Do doctors even know anything about it?

Thankfully, the GAIN site has information here.

One of the things Kath campaigns on is the correct usage of the word “vulva” to describe the female genitals. She, like me, is sick of people calling it the vagina.

Even today, we find it difficult to talk about our genitalia, and to use the correct name for these precious parts of our own bodies. The founder of GAIN – Kath Mazzella, a survivor of vulval cancer was surprised, then angry, and finally frustrated, to continually hear many, many women, the world over, refer to their “vulva” as their “vagina”!

Shockingly, Kath has even been told by government funding agencies to tone down her language because the word “vulva” is pornographic. “Vagina”, however, is OK. Can you believe the nonsense some people perpetuate?

In any case, this post is a plug for Kath and her good work. And also to show off that spectacular logo: isn’t it cute?

09 Sep

4 Comments

The “Real Reasons” Why Women Have Sex?

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The Murdoch Newspapers have this week been plugging a book called Why Women Have Sex by Cindy Meston and David Buss. After surveying 1000 women they authors claim they know the “real reasons” why women have sex and say that desire, lust or attraction come a long way down the list.

The 1,006 women interviewed as research for the book gave some very surprising answers. One claimed she did it for a spiritual experience, because it is “the closest thing to God”. Others listed “cure for stress headache”, “to make my sexual skills better” and “for a clearer complexion”.

But the majority, 84 per cent, admit they have sex to ensure a quiet life or to bargain for their partners to carry out household chores. One said: “I have sex to relieve the boredom. Because it’s easier than fighting. Plus it gives me something to do.”

I’m not sure what to make of this research. I don’t doubt that women do have sex for a variety of reasons including keeping their husband happy. But this quote makes me a little suspicious:

“Research has shown that most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive, whereas most women do not find most men sexually attractive at all,” the authors, who are both psychology professors at the University of Texas, conclude.

Um, what research is that? Because I’ve never heard of it and it seems a ridiculously broad thing to say about “most women.”

Add to that the way that the Murdoch papers, such as this report in the Courier Mail, seem keen to ramp up the idea that all women are just manipulating men using sex. It’s also shocked that a woman would have sex for sheer pleasure. “Rather than love or romance, for many women sex is just about fun,” says their report. No, really? You’re kidding me?

Filed Under: Sex and Women

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20 Jul

0 Comments

“Now Let Your Legs Fall Open”

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I’ve just come back from my 2 yearly pap smear appointment and thought I’d make a too-much-information post about it. I’m feeling like someone’s attacked my insides with a blender – and this despite the fact that the doctor is a really good and caring GP. Why is this procedure so horribly awful? Surely there’s some other way we can test for cervical cancer other than spreading your legs for a stranger and letting them scrape away at your bits with a miniature toilet brush?

I found myself doing the “keep yourself nice” routine – having a thorough shower and shaving my legs, putting on some makeup. This from a furry princess who is often found wearing pyjamas all day. Why do we do this? Perhaps it’s to feel a little bit more comfortable and in control during what is, essentially, an unpleasant experience when we often feel exposed and helpless.

And then I had a smile about the old urban myth of a woman turning up for her pap smear with glittery nether regions.

Apparently Joan Rivers’ method for making pap smears better was to “learn to throw your voice.”

I did laugh at the little sign in the surgery: “I won’t panic, cry or scream. I’m the doctor.”

I also had to resist becoming a geek and talking about this shot film on Youtube when one of the interns knocked on the door as I’m lying there behind the curtain with legs akimbo.

29 Apr

1 Comment

The Lesbians Are Making The Porn Of The Future

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Crash Pad SeriesI’ve been meaning to write this post for a while. The results of the 2009 Feminist Porn Awards have given me a bit more motivation.

It seems to me that the new wave of queer and dyke porn is showing the rest of the adult industry how porn should work. From the way they treat their talent and audience to the content that is produced, the lesbians are doing things differently.

I’m not talking about your standard “girl-girl” stuff, of course. I’m talking about the authentic dyke and queer porn as created by Shine Louise Houston’s Pink and White Productions, or the Good Dyke Porn website, or NoFauxxx, or Madison Young or Nica Noelle or Maria Beatty. These are people, companies and websites who are blazing a new trail, ignoring the old rules about what porn should look like and how it should be made.

The big thing that strikes me is the huge difference in attitude within the lesbian community when it comes to appearing in porn. Apparently the waiting list to appear in Shine’s The Crash Pad Series is enormous. Women are actually queueing for their chance to be in a lesbian porno.

And when they do have their moment in the spotlight, they’re damned proud of it, thank you very much. And their community looks up to them for doing it. There’s no shame, no stigma, no embarrassment. Appearing in lesbian porn is considered to be an exploration of sexuality or an interesting life experience. They are treated extremely well by the filmmakers and are often part of a larger porn-oriented community that supports each other. And dyke porn doesn’t stick to stereotypical body types. Doesn’t matter how you look so long as you’re a good lover on screen.

Contrast this with the way the mainstream, heterosexual industry works. Women are still paid more than men because there’s a stigma attached to being in porn. Actresses are still treated with a lot less respect by a lot of porn companies. There are heirarchies of sex acts to negotiate (“her first anal!”), cosmetic surgery to consider and the growing fear of being washed up at 23. Meanwhile, anti-porn feminists will refuse to believe that mainstream porn actresses are anything other than victims.

When it comes to the content of lesbian porn, things are different again. There are no cliches or rules to be followed. What appears on screen is what lesbians actually do in bed. There’s a sense of realism and a determination to depict sex in honest and meaningful ways. On top of that, there’s no hesitation when it comes to kink or hardcore. Dyke porn can get as dirty as it likes.

There also seems to be a real connection with the audience in queer and dyke porn, an attempt to listen and reflect what the audience wants to see. Contrast this with the endless race to the bottom that is occurring with mainstream porn, the repetition and lack of quality that is regularly churned out.

The ethics and groundbreaking qualities of lesbian and queer pornographers and not unique to those people, of course. There are plenty of other filmmakers and webmasters trying to do things differently. I like to think that I’m one of them. There’s a real desire to create meaningful, ethical porn and I’m sure there’s also a huge audience waiting for it.

And yet I can’t help but feel a little jealous of the lesbians at the moment. They are just going gangbusters. Their audience can’t get enough of the content they create. And damn, they’ve got women waiting months to fuck on camera for them. I’ve got no idea where I’m going to find talent for my next scene!

Imagine a future where all porn was like the current wave of lesbian porn. No sleaze, no stigma, good ethics, decent pay, happy filmmakers, happy talent and happy customers.

I hope it happens one day.