The Butt Plug Coffee Tamper

This delightful stainless steel work of art is NOT a sex toy.

It is, in fact, a coffee tamper made by Avanti and available for about ten bucks or so from your average kitchenwares shop. Like this one.

The other day my husband arrived home wielding this wonderful thing, keen to get his espresso coffee thoroughly stamped into place, always aiming for the perfect crema. I swear, he and that coffee machine are having some kind of relationship.

Anyway, I took one look at it and got the giggles. When you’re a pornographer, it’s hard not to have a dirty mind. It’s like the way I can never type the word “six” without hitting the backspace.

I also started coming up with wild and evil schemes that involved me selling coffee tampers as butt plugs and making a fortune. Your average stainless steel anal sex toy comes in at around $100 or so. I could flog these off for $30 and be rich, rich, rich hahahaaaaa.

Of course, it’s not designed for the purpose of pleasuring your butt and the flange/tamper bit on the bottom is actually quite heavy, so there’s no way you could wear this around. Still, it’s better than a carrot.

And you can always enjoy a perfectly made espresso after all that butt play.

Posted under: Quirky, Weird, Funny, Sex Toys