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Mormon Beefcake Is Kinda Creepy

I wasn’t going to blog about the Mormons Exposed calendar, which features beefy young Mormon missionaries semi-clothed, but I just can’t help it. The funny thing is that it’s quite creepy in a way. The guys are nice looking and all, but the fantasies they inspire are less than exciting. The info on the life of a missionary is rather depressing:

During their mission, they are required to dedicate all of their time to missionary work and are not allowed to read newspapers, listen to popular music, surf the Internet or watch TV or movies. They can only call home twice a year on Christmas and Mother’s Day. Along with the restrictions the missionaries face, all Mormons are forbidden to drink alcohol, coffee or tea, smoke cigarettes or have premarital sex.

Is this the man of your dreams? Because he aint mine.

What’s interesting here is the bizarre subtext of this calendar. The beefcake calendar is essentially designed for women (or gay men) to perve at. Surely this goes against the upright morals of the Latter Day Saints? Perhaps they’re trying to convert us sinners through the subtle yet influential (and, of course, highly addictive) medium of smut?

There are Mormons down the road which means that I’ve seen quite a few pairs of young men in their white shirts and black pants. While they thankfully haven’t visited often, I have to report that not a single one has whipped off the shirt and flexed his pectoral muscles at me. Which is a shame, because it might make me less inclined to tell them to fuck off.