Tagged: women

28 Jul

CNN Covers Women And Porn

I should have blogged about this on the weekend but I was busy with a festival. In any case, the mainstream media are on the trail of women and porn again, thanks to this article by Violet Blue on CNN. Today it featured on the front page with a resulting surge in interest.

The piece gives a positive overview of the statistics and the reasons why more women are watching porn. Her mention of Tony Comstock’s films have given his sales a huge boost (you know, one day I’m going to have a film that Violet mentions in her articles as well. One day…)

Violet has also written about the article on her blog.

Despite the fact that the piece is a win for balanced stories about porn in the mainstream media, there is one glaring problem with CNN’s page – it happily provides a link to anti-porn crusaders Pure Life Ministries but does not link to either Maria Beatty’s site or to Comstock Films. No doubt this is due to some “NSFW” link policy but the question needs to be asked: why link to Pure Life at all? The article only mentions it in passing. Surely it would be better not to link to anyone if you can’t be balanced with your linking policy?

Filed Under: Porn, Porn for Women

Tags: cnn, Porn, porn for women, violet blue, women

02 Apr

Shock! Horror! Bold Font! 66% Of Women Watch Porn

The Sun's pic of a woman watching porn The Sun is practically exploding with excited bold print in this article (and I use the term loosely) about a survey into porn viewing habits.

They’ve found that 66% of women watch porn. Well, duh. This is compared to 88% of men, out of a survey of 1000 Sun readers. I must admit, the 66% figure is a lot higher than all the other surveys I’ve seen on this topic, but maybe it makes a difference that readers chose to fill in the survey and that they are in the demographic of “people who actually read The Sun newspaper.”

The age demographics suggest that younger women are more likely to enjoy porn, but not that much more than women aged 26 and older.

65% of women said they’d watched porn with their partner or husband with a third of those saying they used it for foreplay.

Filed Under: Naked Men, Porn, Ramblings, Sex and Women

Tags: erotica, porn for women, survey, women

17 Feb

Female Desire Is A Paradox… Get Used To It

The Independent has a he-said, she-said article discussing women and desire. Much of it rehashes the New York Times article from a couple of weeks ago, but I felt the need to blog these two paragraphs, just because I liked the sentiment.

So female desire can be a paradox – as Prof Chivers reports, we may want to be ravished roughly in an alley and also want someone who can be tender and caring. But I’m always amazed by how male writers manage to make that sound impossible, when really, women are not that complicated. Our sexuality just doesn’t parallel men’s; we can’t always be viewed through the same filter. So perhaps when they study women, scientists should drop the unifying theory idea.

As Mary Roach says, “[Scientists] saying that they want to increase orgasms, or boost libido is much more helpful than saying: ‘I want to understand women.’”

Catharine Townsend has a point. Why do men always find this complexity confusing? Surely they experience the same thing? Men and women are not automatons, we all want variety in bed and in our relationships. Everyone has their own kinky fantasies… so enough with the “what do women want?” question.

Filed Under: Sex and Women

Tags: female, Sexuality, women

24 Jan

Walking Into The Forest Of Female Desire

The New York Times has an extensive article on research into female desire and lust, profiling the hardworking scientists who are studying this relatively new field of human sexuality (i.e. nobody’s bothered to look into what turns women on. Go figure.)

What I found really interesting was the discussion about how the old ideas of romance and relationships aren’t what really get the juices flowing. It’s being lusted after that makes all the difference.

Definitely rings a bell with me.

The problem was how to augment desire, and despite prevailing wisdom, the answer, she told me, had “little to do with building better relationships,” with fostering communication between patients and their partners. She rolled her eyes at such niceties…

“Female desire,” Meana said, speaking broadly and not only about her dyspareunic patients, “is not governed by the relational factors that, we like to think, rule women’s sexuality as opposed to men’s.”

“Really,” she said, “women’s desire is not relational, it’s narcissistic” — it is dominated by the yearnings of “self-love,” by the wish to be the object of erotic admiration and sexual need. Still on the subject of narcissism, she talked about research indicating that, in comparison with men, women’s erotic fantasies center less on giving pleasure and more on getting it. “When it comes to desire,” she added, “women may be far less relational than men.”

For evolutionary and cultural reasons, she said, women might set a high value on the closeness and longevity of relationships: “But it’s wrong to think that because relationships are what women choose they’re the primary source of women’s desire.”

…

From early glances at her data, Chivers said, she guesses she will find that women are most turned on, subjectively if not objectively, by scenarios of sex with strangers… “I’ve often thought that there is something really powerful for women’s sexuality about being desired. That receptivity element. At some point I’d love to do a study that would look at that.”

There’s also some interesting speculation about why women will get physically turned on by all sorts of things, even if their mind doesn’t register it.

Genital lubrication, she writes in her upcoming paper in Archives of Sexual Behavior, is necessary “to reduce discomfort, and the possibility of injury, during vaginal penetration. . . . Ancestral women who did not show an automatic vaginal response to sexual cues may have been more likely to experience injuries during unwanted vaginal penetration that resulted in illness, infertility or even death, and thus would be less likely to have passed on this trait to their offspring.”

Evolution’s legacy, according to this theory, is that women are prone to lubricate, if only protectively, to hints of sex in their surroundings.

It’s a very interesting article, well worth reading.

Filed Under: Sex and Women

Tags: desire, female, lust, research, Sexuality, women

16 Jan

The Naked Truth About Lust

Lusty sex
I’m a bit late with this article but I do love what it’s saying: that women enjoy perving just as much as men.

The tiresome myth that women are not as visually aroused as men is used to justify everything from sexual assault to double standards about public toplessness, and it’s time to kill it dead.

If the oceans of female drool spilt over Obama (and Daniel Craig and Jude Law and Roger Federer et al) isn’t enough to convince you, consider the fact that women continue to have sex with men despite not being legally or economically or in any other way compelled to do so.

Hot pic is from For The Girls, of course.

Filed Under: Hot pics, Sex and Women

Tags: desire, lust, sex, Sexuality, women

19 Dec

Porn For Women Retrospective 2008

Petra Joy and her Venus award in Berlin Another year has flown and once again we’ve seen plenty of highs (and some lows) in the world of porn for women. 2008 saw more acknowledgement of women as consumers of adult material although things haven’t changed as much as I’d like.

I would say that the standout for this year has been the huge growth in the visibility and availability of authentic lesbian erotica such as The Crash Pad Series and Good Dyke Porn. And the world of sex toys has finally grown up and started offering women quality choices.

In The News

* The big porn for women event was the demise of Playgirl magazine, which announced its closure in August. Plenty of media scuttlebutt followed, including inside stories from the women who worked at the magazine, claiming they’d be stifled by the men in upper management.

* Oprah drew attention to porn for women again this year with her show “237 Reasons To Have Sex”. The show included the assertion that “in the $12 billion adult entertainment industry, $1 out of every $4 is spent by a woman.”

* The Sex and the City film gave media pundits everywhere an excuse to once again talk about women embracing sex toys and porn. I could do without it, to be honest.

* In Texas a court overturned the ban on sex toys

* Heidi Fleiss made headlines by opening an “eco friendly” brothel for women in Nevada

New Adult Movies for Straight Women

2008 didn’t match the previous year for female-friendly film releases, although there were still plenty of new titles to keep us interested.

* In March Petra Joy released her third film Feeling It! which I confess was my favourite film of the year. She also released an R-rated compilation called Sensual Seduction.

* Erika Lust released her erotic documentary Barcelona Sex Project. I was honoured to interview Erika and also post some behind the scenes pics on the blog.

* Comstock Films finally released the long awaited Bill and Desiree: Love Is Timeless to much gushiness from me and other reviewers.

* Tristan Taormino released Chemistry 4 (and I got very distracted by the video equipment) and the latest in her instructional series, the Expert Guide To Positions.

* Inpulse Pictures released Intense Desires.

* Tina Tyler continued her male masturbation odyssey with Handyman 5 6 and 7.

* Playgirl kept churning ‘em out, releasing a new movie every month, all year (complete list). This year they also hired the lovely Jamye Waxman as a director on a number of vignettes.

* Innocent Pictures’ 2007 feature All About Anna went platinum in Europe and has been nominated for a bunch of AVN awards.

Authentic Lesbian And Queer Porn Hits Its Stride

2008 saw lesbians really emerge from the shadows and embrace porn in distinctly visible ways.

* Shine Louise Houston extended her creative vision with the launch of The Crash Pad website, based on the hugely successful film of the same name. She then released 3 separate Crash Pad Series DVDs. Her latest film, Champion, is due for release early in the new year.

* Bren Ryder’s Good Dyke Porn has also gone gangbusters and received a special Golden Beaver Feminist Porn Award to boot.

* Trans Entities by Morty Diamond wowed audiences at numerous festivals around the world and received rave reviews as well as two awards in Toronto.

Books and Their Covers

There were an enormous number of erotica books released over the last year. Erotic fiction for women is booming, it seems.

* Rachel Kramer Bussell proved herself the queen of erotic publishing with her regular In The Flesh reading series and her editorship of vast number of short story anthologies. This year I reviewed Dirty Girls and her oral sex themed Tasting Her.

Best Women's Erotica * Violet Blue again edited Best Women’s Erotica for 2009 and I’m pleased to say one of my stories is featured in the anthology.

* Erika Lust released a book called X For Women in both English and Spanish. The book discusses porn from a woman’s perspective.

* Two erotic fiction authors have made waves this year by questioning the ongoing sexism of erotic book covers. Namely, the fact that they all feature near-naked women. Their blog questions the persistence of the male gaze, even when the books are aimed at straight women.

Awards and Shows

* The 3rd Annual Feminist Porn Awards held in Toronto were a success once again. The ceremony featured screenings of nominated films and a range of live acts. The award for Best Film went to Erika Lust’s Five Hot Stories for Her while queer films dominated a lot of the other cateogories.

Naturally the media reports of the awards prompted much debate on the feminist boards with the usual assertions that porn can never be feminist yada yada yada.

* The 2008 AVN Awards were something of a disappointment when it came to female-friendly porn. While plenty of good films were nominated, few made it to the podium. Candida Royalle’s Aphrodite Superstar picked up a gong for Best Music and that was it. Same ol’ same ol’.

* The Venus Trade Show and e-Line awards in Berlin saw Petra Joy awarded for Pioneering Achievements in Porn for Women and Erika Lust taking out Best Erotic Documentary for the Barcelona Sex Project. Interestingly, Erika has since claimed that the Berlin awards are a commercial transaction with the organisers making up categories as they go along.

* Petra Joy also made waves at The Erotica trade show in London, conducting workshops for women who want to make their own porn and attracting a lot of media interest in her work.

Surveys and Statistics

A quick look at some of the damned lies and statistics that emerged this year.

* The Porn Report, the result of several years of research and surveys into people’s use of porn in Australia, found that most Aussies don’t have an issue with consensual legal porn and – gasp – women like it too. 17% of those interviewed were women and the authors found that women were more likely to watch a DVD and to view it with a partner.

* A book called The Sex Lives of Australian Women says that 1 in 4 Aussie chicks will look at porn at least once a month.

* A survey of over 14,000 Israeli women found that 71% consider themselves to be liberal and daring in bed and half of them say they enjoy watching erotic materials including films, websites and books. 37% specifically said they liked pornography.

* A survey of Swedish “yummy mummy” mothers found that 28% of them enjoyed online porn – and they had rather raunchy sex lives to boot.

* According to the headlines on one lot of research, women aren’t turned on by naked men. The study did find, however, that women do get turned on by images of sensuality and graphic images of sex – no matter what gender the participants in the photos were.

* A survey found that given the choice between the internet or sex, women would rather have the web.

The Spectre Of Censorship

This issue, more than any other this year, has dominated the writing in my blog (check out the censorship category). Governments want to control and censor the internet, and they’re using the spectre of child porn to do it.

No Clean Feed * In January 2008 the Australian government announced plans to introduce a mandatory ISP filter in the name of “protecting the children.” Senator Stephen Conroy immediately pissed opponents off by saying that “If people equate freedom of speech with watching child pornography, then the Rudd-Labor Government is going to disagree.” In October news of the filter hit the mainstream and those opposing it got their act into gear. There’s since been protests, petitions, heaps of cash raised and plenty of online commentary. Aussies are finally standing up for their right to free speech! The filter is still having money thrown at it, the battle will continue into 2009.

* An Australian bloke was charged with importing porn into Australia after customs police tracked his mail. The told media that “the DVDs featured abhorrent sexual practices including bondage”, a quote that gives a concise view of exactly how backward Australia’s censorship laws are.

* In Britain the law banning “extreme porn” was passed, even though most lawyers and police have no idea how to define what’s illegal. Plenty of women from the BDSM community spoke out against the law and its infringement on their liberty.

* Tony Comstock discovered that Google’s Safe Search considers the word “penis” to be “safe” but “clitoris” is beyond the pale. Obviously it’s a word that will corrupt your children.

* This year saw numerous examples of how concern about child abuse has stepped over a boundary into very shady legal territory, leading to numerous prosecutions for thought crime. Prosecutions have occurred over written material and cartoons. In all cases the material was offensive but no children were involved or harmed in any way.

Meanwhile the Bill Henson saga in Australia raised many hackles over the definition of art, porn and whether police should be raiding photography galleries. And Wikipedia was banned in the UK for a short time thanks to a 30 year old Scorpions album cover. It’s a complicated issue, of course, but it seems to me like hysteria is starting to replace rationality when it comes to the problem of child porn.

Highlights from Ms Naughty and For The Girls

* For The Girls turned 5 in June and our annual short story competition was another big success. We featured interviews this year with Erika Lust, Tina Tyler and the lovely indie porn queens Trixie Fontaine and Kat Vixen. And we also got a fabulous new tour.

* In March I attended Sexpo in Brisbane and had quite a good time (including being publicly tied up by the guys from the Hellfire club).

* In October I attended the Berlin Porn Film Festival and thoroughly enjoyed myself. The full report appears at For The Girls but there’s a shorter video and post here.

Some of my longer posts:

Porn for women the postcards The Ugly Conundrum – a discussion of how the word “ugly” is often a weapon
Porn for Women – The Backlash – a look at why some people don’t like the “pfw” phrase and why it’s still important
The sex film to end all sex films – A look at Last Tango In Paris and how mainstream films rarely portray explicit sex in a positive light.
Housework and childcare as porn – more musings on the “Porn for Women” book and its sequels
Naomi Wolf has definitely lost it – My response to Wolf’s defense of the veil – and the way her “Porn Myth” article keeps getting recycled.

It’s been a big year for me and I probably didn’t post as much as I should have. But there it is, the rundown for 2008. Porn for women is still moving forward and people are starting to respect female creators of sexually explicit material and to understand that offering something different from the mainstream is a good thing.

Here’s to a fabulous 2009.

Filed Under: Porn, Porn for Women

Tags: erotica, porn for women, retrospective, women

17 Dec

Internet Or Sex? Women Want The Web

No sex please I'm on the internet So a survey has revealed that 46% of women would rather give up sex than their internet connection.

The U.S. survey, which queried 2,119 adults last month, found that the gap grew even wider for both men and woman who were 18 to 34 years old. For woman, the percentage of those willing to skip the sheets in favor of the Web rose to 49 percent, while it climbed to 39 percent for men.

And for women 35 to 44 years old, the figure jumped to 52 percent.

Count me in. Although I’m not sure if I should be part of this analysis, considering the internet IS sex for me. And it’s work too.

But really. Unless I’m on holiday and deliberately disconnected, I miss the internet terribly when I don’t have it handy. And I use it all the time, to work, to write, to look up recipes, the weather, what’s on TV… Whereas sex… it’s only an occasional thing. And there’s no way to Twitter.

Filed Under: Popular culture, Sex and Women

Tags: internet, sex, survey, women

04 Dec

The Rise Of Female Porn Executives

Candida Royalle MSNBC has a relatively balanced article on the rise of female executives within the porn industry. The author goes to a fair bit of effort to point out how women are trying to make porn better.

Surprisingly, many women who work in the business say they don’t like porn — at least not the porn that takes up most of the shelf space in adult stores or is downloaded from the Internet. They do not object for moral reasons, they just think it’s a crummy product and often far too misogynistic.

Nice to see I’m not the only one who thinks this way.

Unfortunately the story doesn’t give much creedence to the rise of porn for women:

…Several groups of women have tried to create explicit productions, whether for cable TV, online distribution or DVD purchase and rental that appeal specifically to a female sensibility. But aside from Candida Royalle’s Femme series, which gets a big boost by being distributed through mail order giant Adam and Eve, such efforts have been slow to take hold.

They may never take hold. Sensuality, seduction, plot, even good lighting can cost money. “The bulk of pornography is being produced for $17,000,” Holland told the forum. “My budgets are $60,000 for a day-and-a-half shoot. We do two movies in three days and each budget is approximately $60,000. That is astronomically high right now.”

So while more women are calling the shots, they have to respond to a market of primarily male consumers, many of whom find plots simply a waste of time.

Hey… fuck plots. Give me some decent lighting, a good looking male actor and some sex that actually looks believable or pleasureable and bingo. There’s your profit.

Filed Under: Feminism, Porn for Women

Tags: executives, movies, Porn, porn industry, women

01 Sep

Naomi Wolf’s Feminism Disappears Behind The Veil

Chador art work Well, I think Naomi Wolf has lost it.

I was less than impressed with her endlessly-repeated article about porn which relied heavily on assumptions about what men think. And I was also puzzled by her fascination with the idea that Jewish Orthodox modesty was “so hot.”

Now she’s taken that concept and run with it, declaring that Muslim women are far freer in the expression of their sexuality while covered head-to-toe in a chador than we stupid Western chicks.

A few quotes:

This may explain why both Muslim and Orthodox Jewish women not only describe a sense of being liberated by their modest clothing and covered hair, but also express much higher levels of sensual joy in their married lives than is common in the West. When sexuality is kept private and directed in ways seen as sacred – and when one’s husband isn’t seeing his wife (or other women) half-naked all day long – one can feel great power and intensity when the headscarf or the chador comes off in the the home.

Among healthy young men in the West, who grow up on pornography and sexual imagery on every street corner, reduced libido is a growing epidemic, so it is easy to imagine the power that sexuality can carry in a more modest culture. And it is worth understanding the positive experiences that women – and men – can have in cultures where sexuality is more conservatively directed.

and

When you choose your own miniskirt and halter top – in a Western culture in which women are not so free to age, to be respected as mothers, workers or spiritual beings, and to disregard Madison Avenue – it’s worth thinking in a more nuanced way about what female freedom really means.

I’ve got more than a few problems with what’s being said here. It’s hard to know where to start.

I should begin by saying that I am philosophically opposed to Islam. I’m an athiest, for a start, so that means I’m not keen on any kind of religion or the ridiculous rules they impose on people.

I’m also opposed to the sexism and entrenched discrimination that exists within the Muslim religion and within societies that are primarily Islamic. I’ve read the Koran and it (like the Bible) has numerous edicts that explicitly deny women their human rights. As a feminist, I cannot support that.

I reject the Islamic stance on sexuality and male-female relations – the very thing that Naomi Wolf is defending. This view of the world sees all men as sexual predators and all women as sexual prizes. It essentially defines individuals according to preconceived ideas about how men and women will interact if they are allowed to mingle freely with each other. In Islam, all men are rapists, and all women are victims (sounds a bit like Andrea Dworkin, now I think about it.)

Women must be protected, hence the veil, hence the curtailment of their freedom, because their virginity and sexual useability are the only thing considered valuable by Islam. Men, meanwhile, cannot be trusted to control their lustful, animal instincts. Even the sight of a woman’s ankle will incite a man to rape.

But, of course, if he does rape, it’s not really his fault. And the woman will need four witnesses in a court to prove otherwise, according to the Koran. And her testimony is only worth half that of a man’s.

When this is the sort of attitude that lies behind the idea of “the veil”, I find it very difficult to feel sympathetic towards it. And yet that’s exactly what Naomi Wolf is asking us to do. She’s suggesting that this kind of philosophical opposition is just “Western misunderstanding”.

She talks about choice, saying that some Muslim and Jewish women who choose to cover up feel that they are treated more as individuals and less as sexual objects by others. Note, by the way, that she really is only talking about some women, but she writes as if ALL of them feel that way.

It’s certainly an interesting idea and I can respect their choice to live according to their own beliefs. At the same time I think they’re buying into a world view that still defines them according to sex. I mean, think about it. You walk around covered up from head to toe and wearing a head scarf, you’re essentially saying that every man you meet is only interested in your body. And you’re signifying your belief that you can only be taken seriously if your skin isn’t showing.

I don’t know about you, but I like to think that men aren’t quite that bestial.

And I think that Naomi’s defence of choice is problematic in this context, simply because the vast majority of Muslim women in the world aren’t given the option. Wearing the veil is either written into law or it’s considered the cultural norm, to the point that those who don’t cover up are harassed, abused or worse.

And let’s think about those little girls who are also made to wear the veil and denied the freedoms that their brothers enjoy. Where’s the choice or the sexual freedom there?

The whole concept of “modesty” might be a little more acceptable if it were applied to both sexes and if individuals were freely allowed to make that choice, but the fact is that it’s only women who are required to hide their bodies and hair. It’s the women who get the rough end of the stick. Why defend that as a feminist virtue?

I take umbrage at the idea that a hidden sexuality is somehow better than one that is freely expressed. I think it all depends upon your point of view. You get good and bad marriages within Islam and within the Western world. If a relationship is happy and successful it doesn’t really matter what you wear, I suspect. And if either partner develops feelings of jealousy because the other is looking (looking) at the opposite sex, I would say that it’s not the clothes that are the problem.

I also reject the idea that Western women are “forced” to wear skimpy clothing or to be overtly sexual. This assertion is part of that whole “raunch culture” moral panic which interprets autonomous female sexuality as merely an expression of victimhood (i.e. women only pole dance or watch porn to impress the guys, they never make that decision just to please themselves). Yes, you can argue that fashion and popular culture are fairly determined to dress women up like Barbie dolls, but that doesn’t mean we have to actually do it.

And yes, there are men out there who are determined to treat all women like sex objects. But why should their opinions impact upon how I live my life? Why should I restrict my own movements or change my dress because of what they think or say? Fuck them, is the correct answer here.

I’m a Western woman. Most days, I wear clothing that is decidedly unsexy, mainly because I find it comfortable – and I don’t give a damn about what other people think of me. I don’t bother with makeup or high heels and I don’t spend hours doing my hair. I just wear clothes and go out, very much in the same way that men do.

You could argue that I too am treated as an individual rather than as a sex object because I’m wearing my sensible shoes, trousers and unfashionable top. I do understand what those Muslim women are saying about not having to adhere to a certain expectation of “femininity”.

But I don’t feel that my choice of clothing magically enhances my sex life and I certainly don’t think I’m somehow morally superior to those who may be wearing less clothing, for whatever reason.

And when it’s summer, I myself will be wearing less clothing, again because it’s comfortable (even if Naomi says that I’m actually brazenly walking around “half naked”). And I have a major problem with anybody or any religion that tells me I’m a “whore” or not truly free because I might wear a halter top in hot weather. I have a choice and I take responsibility for myself. That’s the whole point of feminism, right?

Naomi’s assertion that Western men are suffering from reduced libido is not based on any research or statistics that I’m aware of. I think her whole argument relies on vague anecdotes and – dare I say it – her own yearnings for the old-fashioned notions of noble marriage as described in romance novels.

If Naomi is genuinely concerned about women’s freedom and sexuality, she needs to go back to addressing attitudes and societal expectations about how women should look and behave and how men should treat women. And she needs to take a more critical view of religion and its role in how women are treated around the world.

Those women who are able to choose the chador or the veil are welcome to it. It’s their life. Just as I reserve the right to wear what I want and to hold my own beliefs. But I will not accept the assertion that their choice and their life is somehow more feminist or free than mine. I think that covering up and hiding sexuality merely gives in to (and feeds) existing sexism, rather than fighting it.

Pic is from this blog page, from an exhibition by fashion designer Hussein Chalayan (more here)

Filed Under: Porn for Women

Tags: Feminism, Islam, muslims, Naomi Wolf, oppression, Sexuality, veil, women

21 Aug

Shine Buys Into The “Women Aren’t Visual” Myth

Playgirl is dead and this has led numerous know-nothings in the media to come to the conclusion that women don’t like porn.

First there was this from Momlogic.

In a small survey at the momlogic office, staff members were shown–well, members–and asked if they thought they were attractive. The responses were less than positive:

“I don’t like any parts of the penis.”

“This is gross.”

Thanks for nothing, Moms. Another advertisement for contraception, it seems.

Now the Yahoo attempt at being girly, Shine, has joined in:

I guess the obvious answer is that besides enduring, outdated social constructions, men tend to be more visually oriented when it comes to sexual fantasizing, women a bit more cerebral, and guys, I don’t mean for that to sound condescending.

Uh, how about apologising for being condescending to the girls? Jeezus, I’m sick of the constant re-iteration of the “women aren’t visual” myth.

Interestingly, I notice that the article is listed under the “astrology” section of Shine. So obviously it’s serious journalism.

Filed Under: Feminism, Porn for Women

Tags: Playgirl, Shine, visual, women

17 Aug

Hooray For “Old” Female Olympians

The Olympics is primarily populated by young people. When it comes to the sports of athletics, cycling, gymnastics and swimming, you’re over the hill when you turn 25. But a number of women have ignored conventional wisdom and are now Olympians in 2008. Post motherhood.

German Oksana Chusovitina is 33 and has been a gymnast for 20 years. When I saw her competing amongst the pre-pubescent girls that dominate in her sport, I was just so thrilled. One for us old chicks.

Ditto with 41 year old Dara Torres who won a medal as part of the US 4x100m relay and also came second in the 50m freestyle final. I’ve seen some suggest that she may be flagrantly using drugs. I must admit, it’s possible… but I can’t help but cheer for her anyway.

And what about Romanian Constantina Dita-Tomescu who won the women’s marathon. 38 years old and she just blitzed them. Amazing.

French cyclist Jeannie Longo only just missed winning a medal in her event. “When I race I don’t feel like I’m 50, I don’t race with a calendar. I had never felt as much power in me,” she said.

Articles:
Age no barrier for Olympics oldest gymnast
Why we cheer for Olympians (Oksana photo taken from that page)
Everybody in the pool: Dara Torres inspires older women
Regret for Longo, 49, as she misses podium
Torres has new reason to seek gold

Filed Under: Ramblings

Tags: athletes, older, Olympics, women

10 Jul

The Girl Gives Good Advice

The Girl With A One Track Mind always gives good blog, and her latest post is no exception. In it she replies to the suggestion that she’s a fake because no “real” woman could have that many orgasms so easily. I liked this bit:

Seriously (and ego aside) though, what’s with all the focus on MEN bringing WOMEN to orgasm? Isn’t there enough pressure on men already? What about women bringing themselves to orgasm? I’ve stated, many times, on this blog that women need to take responsibility for their own pleasure. By learning about their bodies and discovering what works for them; by switching off those horrid insecurities that can impact the sex (“Does he think I’m fat?”; “Will he consider me a slut for fucking him on the first date?”; “Am I shit at hand-jobs?”); by gaining confidence in stating their needs, women will have a better time in bed – as will the men they’re with – and the sex will be improved as a result.

She’s spot on. Unfortunately there’s this long tradition in our society that a man “makes” the woman come. It’s all tied up in the whole Freudian thing where the official source of female orgasms is via a penis moving in and out of a vagina. The clit is still something that a woman has to “discover”. Sex education still emphasises intercourse and pretty much implies that penis-in-vagina equals orgasm for both partners automatically. I don’t doubt that the majority of women fully expect the fireworks thing to happen when they first have sex. And when that doesn’t occur… well, cue all the insecurity and worrying and stress.

Self discovery combined with communication is the key to good sex for women. I’m so glad the Girl is out there waving the flag for us.

Filed Under: Sex and Women

Tags: Girl With A One Track Mind, orgasm, Sexuality, women

09 Jul

More On Australian Women, Porn and Sex

Just wanted to add a further post about the recent survey of the sex lives of Australian women (previous post here)

News.com.au has an article unfortunately titled “The sad sexual secrets of women” which is rather misleading since the survey has plenty of positive aspects to it, including an increase in masturbation, a desire for more consideration from male partners and a general urge to explore one’s sexuality.

I wanted to quote this part of the article, which hearkens back to the various discussions about “why women hate porn”.

But, overwhelmingly, we’re bored in the bedroom, causing many of us to stray in search of sexual thrills – which might explain why more of us are watching pornography to spice up our sex lives.

One respondent was so disappointed with the quality of porn movies available, she starred in her own.

“A lot of women described how porn is OK, but they would like it a lot better if it was made by women for women and then they would like to look at it with their partners and use it as a stimulant,” Sauers said.

On the downside porn, while titillating, had added “a whole new level of anxiety, not just about the body but about performance”, Sauers said.

She said that, while porn does carry risks because a small percentage of men become addicted, “to dismiss porn out of hand as an enemy of sexuality and an enemy of relationships is a mistake”.

I found it refreshing to read a relatively pro-porn comment like that in a News Ltd media outlet.

The aforementioned sad aspect of women’s sex lives is that one in three women have experienced some form of sexual assault.

Filed Under: Porn for Women, Sex and Women

Tags: Australia, Porn, research, sex, statistics, survey, women

01 Jul

“Why Women Hate Porn” (And Why They Like It)

Porn postcard from postsecret The Ask Sam blog at the Sydney Morning Herald has published this post entitled “Why Women Hate Porn.”

Unfortunately the article doesn’t actually discuss the whys and wherefores of any negative female reactions to porn. Rather it points out recent statistics that one in three Australian women regularly watch porn. And then the author asserts that women have taken up porn watching because it’s trendy, or because they want to please men (as this Salon blog post suggests).

I can’t help but think this is a huge wasted opportunity to discuss women and porn, squandered on a few vague generalisations and the blanket statement that “what we need is more foreplay, more romance, more kissing after sex and more (gasp!) story line.”

If 25-30% of women are looking at porn regularly, that still leaves a lot of women who aren’t so keen. I thought I’d whack together a quick, simple and numbered list of suggestions as to why some women don’t like porn.

1. The vast majority of porn is made for a male audience. It depicts male fantasies and focuses on male pleasure. Female viewers aren’t acknowledged as an audience.

2. Mainstream porn is often unrealistic and divorced from situations in which everyday women experience sex. It’s also increasingly focused on sex acts that aren’t normative. A simple example: anal sex is standard in today’s porn, but an awful lot of women aren’t so keen on butt sex (and when you consider that in porn butt sex is usually portrayed as painful or cruel, it’s not surprising).

3. The performers in mainstream porn can be alienating and/or unappealing to women. Fake tits, blond hair, no cellulite, no pubic hair… Porn actresses can make women feel self conscious about their bodies. They may also find it hard to empathise with the female stars, which can make watching porn less appealing. And male porn stars can be seriously unattractive or downright creepy.

4. Mainstream porn can have an element of sexism or misogyny involved e.g. the reality sites where women are “tricked” into sex and derided. Even the language of porn (“slut, bitch, whore”) is not encouraging to women who enjoy sex. It upholds the old dichotomies of virgin/whore; women are simultaneously valued and despised because they have sex.

5. There’s still plenty of uncertainty about where porn fits into a relationship. A lot of women feel threatened by their man’s use of porn. There’s a concern that fantasy will make reality less appealing.

6. Some women are concerned that porn is warping men’s idea of good sex, making them expect sex acts that may be unusual or demeaning or unpleasurable for the woman. They feel it misleads men into thinking women will act or think a certain way, one that doesn’t reflect reality.

7. Our Western/Christian society is still very anti-sex and anti-pleasure. Beyond those women who are religiously opposed to porn, there’s still a cultural resistance to the idea of “the prurient interest.” Porn is dirty, uncivilised, unladylike and should be spurned.

I’m sure there are other reasons, but that’s a good start. And I realise there are plenty of generalisations and assumptions going on there. There’s no science behind what I’ve written, just speculation. Indeed, there needs to be heaps more research into this whole thing.

So, to be fair, I’m going to make a list of reasons as to why some women DO like porn.

1. It’s good masturbation material.

2. It can inspire new sexual fantasies that can be used to spice up a relationship.

3. Watching it with a partner can be a form of foreplay.

4. It can inspire a desire to experiment with new ideas in bed (although porn as sex education is never a good idea).

5. Purely for entertainment.

Hmmm, now I make that list, I suspect those are the same reasons why men watch porn.

And interesting that the reasons against are so complicated but the reasons for it are simple.

As a feminist pornographer, I’m can see both the positive and negative aspects of porn. I know I can defend the idea of sexually explicit material while still being critical of the many problems associated with porn. I never want to see this in black and white. Porn is problematic, no doubt about that. Indeed, if porn was perfect, I’d probably still be working as a librarian now.

It’s my desire to make it better that inspires me. Porn doesn’t have to be crappy. Women shouldn’t have to hate it. It’s not going to go away any time soon so we should be aiming to make it better, more realistic, more inclusive, more engaging, more erotic, more intimate and, yes, sexier.

That’s why I make porn.

Pic: From Postsecret

Edit: Jezebel has a good post on this topic here.

Filed Under: Hot pics, Porn, Porn Movies, Sex and Women

Tags: Porn, porn for women, pornography, Sexuality, women

30 Jun

This Is Post 701: Aussie Chicks Like Porn

Another day, another book, another news item and survey that says that women like porn.

A book called The Sex Lives of Australian Women says that 1 in 4 Aussie chicks will look at porn at least once a month. The book is based on a survey of 2000 self-selected internet participants.

Naturally, I’m not surprised at this 1-in-4 statistic, which seems to be the similar to the 27-30% figure that pops up regularly in most research.

One in five have also had a go at making their own sex tape, according to the report here. I liked this quote:

“It was fine, but to tell you the truth … watching it again was hilarious … not erotic … my arse was NOT ever meant to be on a tape,” responded a 33-year-old mother from Western Australia.

The Courier Mail article is also rather stunned that more women have orgasms via masturbation than any other method. This piece of information is always treated as if it’s an affront to men, somehow, and I’m a bit sick of that attitude. Of course you’re going to orgasm easily when masturbating! That’s the whole point. It’s a purely selfish activity aimed at creating an orgasm. Sex with a partner has a lot of other things going on, not least of which is the ongoing misconception that the penis should create an orgasm by moving in and out of the relatively non-sensitive vagina!

OK, just had to get that off my chest.

Meanwhile, in other unrelated statistical news, I’ve just realised I’ve now passed 700 posts on the WordPress version of this blog (not counting the old blog). I installed WP in January 2006 so it’s taken me 2 and a half years to reach this point. Hurrah.

I’m still not sure if I should move the blog to a new domain. One of my tweaks seems to have worked with Google, a bit. I have a couple of other things planned to see if it helps.

Filed Under: Porn, Sex and Women

Tags: Australia, Porn, statistics, survey, women