Ms Naughty Porn for Women Blog

Today I was lucky enough to receive a brand new Lelo Lyla SenseMotion vibrator via an unsuspecting courier. Having battled my way through layers of sticky tape, I finally opened the sleek black box. Inside, nestled amid oh-so-snazzy black velvet, were two rose-coloured objects, neither of which looked anything like a vibrator.

“What’s that?” my lovely husband asked.

“Wait and see,” I said, thinking I’d show him how they worked. Except I had absolutely no idea about that. These little things could well be the first sex toy for which I’ve needed an instruction manual.

The Lyla is a plug-like vibrating device with a string attached. It can be used on the clit or inserted. It’s controlled via the little round disc which also vibrates. The idea is that your partner controls the speed and intensity of the vibration, turning your average buzzy session into a playful tease-fest. Aside from 9 different buzz settings, the disc also reacts to motion, which makes things rather interesting.

At last, someone has found something useful to do with a motion detector. Never mind catching burglars… now we can get off on it. Although I must admit, having your burglar alarm attached to an internal vibrator would certainly make break-ins a hell of a lot more fun.

The above video seems to suggest that the Lelo SenseMotion vibrators are liable to induce seriously bad dancing in white guys. I guess it’s a risk we’ll all have to take.

I haven’t yet taken my new Lyla for a test run but I’ll be reviewing it for For The Girls in the near future.

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Almost a fortnight ago I attended Sexpo, the local adult entertainment exhibition. Aside from spruiking for the Sex Party, I bought myself some lovely corsets and wandered around filming some of the action.

I also interviewed the lovely Wendy from D.Vice, a New Zealand-based sex toy company. D.Vice has been around since 1998 and they were one of the first companies to push the envelope when it came to sex toys. They manufacture their own silicone toys and their range includes some lovely strapons. D.Vice is one of the new style of adult stores, female-run and sex positive, keen to offer information and advice and not just sell toxic jelly penises.

So I thought I’d do a quick post to thank Wendy for her interview, which appears at For The Girls tomorrow. And also to encourage you to check out D.Vice and consider them for your next sex toy purchase.

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Electronics company Philips has decided to brave the prudes and boldly bring out a massager that’s explicitly for sexual use. That’s right. Philips has started to make sex toys. Gasp, shock, look at the share price go up.

Their new range of personal massagers are designed for use by couples which is an interesting take on things.

“We know that couples in happy relationships tend to have satisfying sex lives together,” says their site. “Our Sensual massagers allow you both to experiment in exciting new ways enhancing your intimate pleasure as you explore your sensuality together.”

The vibes look fairly similar to the designs of Natural Contours or Lelo and they have that “I’m a proper electrical device” look to them, It makes a nice change from the usual lightweight, dinky plastic or pthalate-heavy jelly toys we see regularly in sex shops.

Gizmag has an interesting article on the new products here.

Hence we wholeheartedly applaud Philips for being the first corporate prepared to risk political incorrectness in addressing the marketplace honestly… In making its range of Sensual Intimate Massagers freely available in department stores, without the sex shop stigma, our expectation is that the range will be hugely successful – after all, who wouldn’t want to try them? – and pave the way for other corporates to pursue this far-from-niche marketplace.

I personally welcome this new move toward openness in the massager market. The fact is that mains-powered vibrators are the ultimate weapon when it comes to creating a female orgasm. You can’t beat an electric vibrator for sheer speed and pleasure.

Unfortunately most companies in the last ten years have opted for monster-heavy poundy things which are completely useless for sex. Only the Hitachi Magic Wand (not available in Australia) has been happy to be associated with clitorial stimulation, releasing a range of heads specifically designed for sexual use. Everyone else has been pretending that massages are actually used to, I don’t know, massage or something.

I was particularly upset when Breville stopped making the Soothing Heat Massager, an old-fashioned looking device that, with the help of the “special” bulb head, is one helluva electric sex toy. And I’m not the only one who misses them:

This “unused” Breville massager from the 70s went for over $60 on eBay – and this happens regularly. There’s a huge market for these second-hand electric vibrators and people are scrambling to get hold of them. If I had some way of sourcing or making them I’d be selling them on this site right now.

The Philips vibes are currently only available in Europe but I hope to see them spread elsewhere, including here. They’re not cheap but I’d be willing to buy one, even just to encourage them for taking such a bold step.

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This delightful stainless steel work of art is NOT a sex toy.

It is, in fact, a coffee tamper made by Avanti and available for about ten bucks or so from your average kitchenwares shop. Like this one.

The other day my husband arrived home wielding this wonderful thing, keen to get his espresso coffee thoroughly stamped into place, always aiming for the perfect crema. I swear, he and that coffee machine are having some kind of relationship.

Anyway, I took one look at it and got the giggles. When you’re a pornographer, it’s hard not to have a dirty mind. It’s like the way I can never type the word “six” without hitting the backspace.

I also started coming up with wild and evil schemes that involved me selling coffee tampers as butt plugs and making a fortune. Your average stainless steel anal sex toy comes in at around $100 or so. I could flog these off for $30 and be rich, rich, rich hahahaaaaa.

Of course, it’s not designed for the purpose of pleasuring your butt and the flange/tamper bit on the bottom is actually quite heavy, so there’s no way you could wear this around. Still, it’s better than a carrot.

And you can always enjoy a perfectly made espresso after all that butt play.

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This little 12 minute video is called “Dildo Diaries” and it documents the insane laws against sex toys and anal sex in Texas which, thankfully, have just been overturned by a court. It’s worth watching for the first 5 minutes as we go into an adult store and see the insanity at work.

To summarise the rules:
* You can’t own more than 6 dildoes because that means an intent to sell
* You can’t call them “dildoes”: they’re “educational demonstrators.”
* You can’t use the word “vibrators”: they’re “personal massagers.”
* You can buy as many butt plugs as you like because the anus is not a sex organ.

The court decision will change all this. It’s also encouraging for the women of Alabama, where it’s still illegal to sell sex toys.

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Following financial difficulties (which apparently nearly saw them close their doors), Good Vibrations has announced a merger deal with General Video of America and Trans World News. GVA-TWN is a huge distribution and adult products company and it looks like they stepped in with a wad of cash.

It’s an interesting turnaround for what was originally a small, grassroots co-operative. I wonder if they will maintain their committment to providing women with quality adult products? I hope so.

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A site called Tree Hugger has an interesting article about 10 ways to green your sex life. And while they recommend non-phthalate dildos and rechargable battery vibrators, they didn’t mention the solar powered vibrator.

This handy-dandy device is designed to plug into numerous existing sex toys like the micro bullet or micro kitty strap-on and gets all its energy from the sun. So you can get off without warming the planet. Handy for camping too.

I haven’t tested this vibe so I have no idea if it’s powerful enough to do the job. Here’s hoping all that lovely solar enery helps to pack a decent punch, as it were.

Tree Hugger has a video about how to buy a green sex toy, if you’re curious.

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So there I was perusing the sex toys and vibrators at Amazon.com and I was musing about how when I first joined their affiliate program you weren’t supposed to sell via an adult site. Whereas now they have a wide range of dirty, naughty adult products on sale and no questions asked.

Anyway, there it was: a 1930s vintage vibrator from Battle Creek, for sale for $249 via a company called NJ Auctions.

Imagine that.

Here’s most of the official description:

This is a Vintage 1930’s Battle Creek Medical Massage Vibrator which came out of a physician’s estate and it is in good looking and in good working ondition. It was made by the Battle Creek Equipment Company of Battle Creek, Michigan and it is 115 volts AC-DC, 60 watts and features a rheostat which can be varied from 0 to 100 units. This is a particularly powerful massager which was designed to be used on a daily or continual basis. It features a fine vibration to a heavy pulsating motion which is powerful enough to massage horses (my emphasis). Battle Creek, Michigan was the location of the first vibrator and massage development during the late 1800’s in the U.S.,and based on the style and design this one likely dates back to the 1930’s or earlier.

I don’t know if this vibrator originally was linked with Dr Kellogg’s Battle Creek sanitarium where vigorous exercise, fibre and enemas were used to prevent masturbation. But I kind of hope it was.

I feel kind of tempted to buy it but the shipping would be a killer. Imagine trying to explain it to customs.

It’s now been over 8 years since I wrote an article for Australian Women’s Forum about the history of the vibrator (you’ll find a copy of it at For The Girls). When I read Rachel Maines’ The Technology of Orgasm I was astounded and felt compelled to write about it. It seemed like such an amazing thing, that women would be getting orgasms from doctors to treat “hysteria.” And that doctors invented the vibrator to save time and push through more paying “patients”. Sexuality at the turn of the century was seriously messed up.

Still, it was probably a nice thing to pop by the doctors, get away from the family for a while and be on the receiving end of something powerful enough to massage a horse.

That AWF article led to me appearing in Turn Me On: The History Of The Vibrator. That doco was only supposed to be a student project, but it developed legs and every now and again SBS shows it late at night. It’s very weird when people ring me up and say they saw me talking about vibrators on TV.

You can read more about the history of the vibrator here.

You’ll find more pics of vintage vibrators here. Also check out Good Vibrations vintage vibrator museum page.

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I want to do a quick post about a new adult store which is owned by a friend of mine. Ashley’s Sex Toys is a nice looking site and it sells all the usual stuff but what I really like is the education section which contains quite a large number of useful articles and information.

Naturally I’m very pleased that they’ve got a piece about women-friendly porn, including a plug for Tristan Taormino’s films. There really aren’t many online sex toy shops that acknowledge that women want porn – even if females make up the majority of customers. There’s also tips on using strap-ons on your man, getting into bondage and latex and even simple stuff like how to put on a condom. I think it’s great to see this kind of proactive effort added onto a standard online business.

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SFGate reports that adult store Good Vibrations is having financial difficulties and apparently the internet is to blame. It seems they can’t compete now that Amazon has started to sell sex toys. They’re also blaming Google and it’s nasty new algorithm which stuffed up their listings (tell me about it!) and subsequent sales.

Interestingly, Libida.com says they also had trouble with Google but overcame it by becoming “leaner”.

There are a squillion DIY adult stores now operating on the net but very few of them have put their hand up and said “Yes, we’re just for women!” It’s a pity that GoodVibes has hit problems because they were one of those few. Unfortunately they never offered an affiliate program so I have never promoted them on my many sites and I would suspect that a lack of coverage via affiliates has dented their online business.

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This is a clever ad from Ikea for shelving.

I love it when the kid discovers how to turn it on and gets the giggles.

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