Ms Naughty Porn for Women Blog

Here it is, the little film that kept me very preoccupied last week.

“Paddling The Pink Canoe” is a fun look at euphemisms for female masturbation. There are 44 individual slang terms used in the video. If you want the full list, visit the Pink Canoe page at FTG.

I originally only intended to make a short 30 second fun video as a promo for For The Girls but then things started to escalate. I felt like I needed more, so I scanned existing lists of euphemisms for filmable options. The shot list kept growing.

And then I went shopping for props. I went on an exhaustive but unrewarded search for a toy beaver. I found a paper lily but spent two hours looking for gold paint. We couldn’t find a clam at any of the seafood shops or supermarkets so in the end I used a shell from a local river shellfish (and we had rather a lot of fun sticking eyes and a beard on it). I also got very artistic when painting a taco pink and nearly crashed the car looking for signs with a “Y” on them.

After a while my husband and I became slightly deranged, always on the lookout for something euphemistic that we could use. We started to see masturbation everywhere.

The pink canoe was the biggest challenge. I had originally planned to use a toy boat but… well, do you think I could find one? I really didn’t expect to find a real pink canoe but, as luck would have it, a local kayak operator had just got one in the previous day. It was kind of weird to ring up and ask if he had a pink canoe, but he was very cool about the whole thing and even gave us a few euphemism suggestions of his own. I realise that a kayak is NOT a canoe, but we make do with what we can.

Yes, those are corned beef curtains, not ham. We obviously couldn’t do a full sized pair of curtains so a friend helped out with a doll’s house from their shed. That bit is probably the most over-the-top part of the video, but by crikey we giggled a lot when filming it.

So there it is. Not the most professional of movies but a bit of fun. If you like it, please tell your friends!

You may have noticed I haven’t been posting much this week. That’s because I’m having too much fun making a little short film. It started out as a 30 second promo and now it’s stretched to 3 minutes and I’m thinking of entering it into film festivals.

Can’t wait to get it finished and out there. The above song by the Divinyls is my ideal choice for the music (which will give you an idea of what the film’s about) but I’ve opted for cheaper royalty free stuff instead.

This is a great song, though and Chrissie Amphlett has always been kickarse when it comes to being aggressively sexy.

It’s Friday, I’ve been busy so I’m quickly putting up a nice pic of a naked guy with a hairy chest to keep you all happy.

You’ll also be interested to know that For The Girls now has an exciting new tour, freshly minted and uploaded. I think it looks very swish and generally fabulous AND it’s now got fancy new flash video samples. It’s been a long time coming but worth the wait.

A couple of links of interest for the day:
Petra Joy has been featured in Metro magazine prior to her big weekend at the Erotica expo in London where she’s presenting a heap of seminars and is quite the celebrity. I hope it goes well for her.

The Australian Sex Party has had a successful launch and easily got their 500 founding members at Sexpo in Melbourne. Their policies are now on the website.

And I just have to post about today’s fabulously weird sex story: Man fined $600 for masturbating with a jar of pasta sauce. In his car.

When Weatherley was stopped, he refused to leave his car and four officers used batons and capsicum spray to get him out.

They found a 750mm jar around his penis and said Weatherley attempted to continue “pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling”.

Here’s the trailer for Erika Lust’s latest film, The Barcelona Sex Project. I’d like to review it in the near future.

You can find out more and buy the film at her site.

The annual Masturbate-A-Thon was held on Sunday. The event aims to encourage the acceptance of masturbation as a healthy practice. Apparently some new world records were set: a man broke the record for orgasming the most number of times (31). And woman masturbated for seven hours straight, orgasming an average of once an hour. Doing anything for seven hours straight is stressful so such a marathon wank session must have required superhuman effort.

Report here.

In this room, throughout Sunday, dozens of different people would lay around on blankets and pillows, touching themselves, screaming, panting, and orgasming. A team of documentary filmmakers working on a project called “Sticky” interviewed and filmed many of the performers, who in turn danced around a stripper pole, sang songs, played the violin, and theatrically masturbated to climax on a giant sofa. By the time the sun went down, the room reeked of sex juice, and somebody turned on a fan. It didn’t help.

I’m looking at the official logo (above) and giggling at the whimsy that decided a dick with wings, legs and tail also needed a bumhole.