Ms Naughty Porn for Women Blog

Given that Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are now parents, I thought I’d throw in a Google Images link to a nude photo shoot Keith did in 2001. No, he’s not totally nude, unfortunately, but it’s still a nice bit of perving.

There’s numerous giggles happening because the new baby’s name is “Sunday Rose” which isn’t too much of a leap from “Sunday Roast”. And Australians find this particularly funny because of the above well-known 1990 ad in which a young woman (played by Naomi Watts) gives up a date with Tom Cruise because her mother is cooking a roast dinner. I still remember making all kinds of roast lamb jokes when Our Nicole started dating Tom.

Apparently the upcoming spring/summer issue of Britain’s GQ Style features an essay by fashion guru Tom Ford and pictorial featuring naked men. Ford says he wants to look at the way Western society avoids serious study of the male body and the disparity between the treatment of men’s and women’s bodies.

NYMag has lifted whole paragraphs from Ford’s essay and turned it into a mock interview. It makes for interesting reading. I really liked this bit:

Imagine … if our suits were entirely designed to show off our penises. Imagine if contemporary fashion demanded that you left your cock hanging outside your trousers, with perhaps just the head trussed up in a tiny pouch like a dick bra. Everyone would see our cocks all the time, in the same way that fashion features women’s breasts.

What a fascinating idea. Part of me really, really wants this to happen. When the revolution comes, ladies, it’ll be dick bras for the lot of them, I say!

I love Ewan McGregor. And it’s not just because of his eagerness to get naked in almost every film he’s been in. He’s also very likeable. Proof: Long Way Round. Damn, that was great TV. Oh, and he was naked in it too.

Anyway, apparently his latest film was too much even for him. He’s told the press he was exhausted after having to repeatedly get nude and simulate sex with a procession of beautiful actresses. His part in Deception is that of a staid accountant who becomes involved in a sex club. Hence the orgy scenes.

I think I want to see it. Actually, I know I want to see it.

Meanwhile, in other shag-laden movie news, it seems Frodo has been getting jiggy with spaghetti. Elijah Wood’s first ever on-film sex scene involves getting nude and being covered in spaghetti. I suspect Samwise will be jealous.

The SMH has been paying attention to male nudity in films today, with a feature article on the way the penis is getting a bit more screen time lately. Especially thanks to comedy filmmaker Judd Apatow who has made it his mission to get the dick onto the big screen as much as possible.

“America fears the penis, and that’s something I’m going to help them get over,” Apatow is quoted as having said in December. “I’m gonna get a penis in every movie I do from now on. It really makes me laugh in this day and age, with how psychotic our world is, that anyone is troubled by seeing any part of the human body.”

Bravo, Judd.

Pic is from here.

The Guardian has an amusing short piece calling for more male nudity in films, following Viggo Mortensen’s super-duper nude bathhouse scene in Eastern Promises. Naturally the author sees an opportunity to make dozens of penis jokes and runs with it.

The sight of a penis on screen never fails to get people’s attention, despite the fact that said object of controversy is gazed down upon by its owners – half the planet, last time I looked – every morning at least, and is inserted into a goodly percentage of the other half of the planet last thing at night. Yet for all its mundanity, the totemic power of the phallus, rampant or dormant, to shock us has yet to subside, or, to be technical about it, detumesce. It always pokes the viewer right in the eye, so to speak, and, well, isn’t that justification enough?

Good point.

Meanwhile, movie magazine Empire has made a list of the 10 worst nude scenes of all time and, unsurprisingly, put Borat at number one. I don’t think anyone needs to argue with that one (although, my god, I laughed).

I do have to take issue with their placement of Harvey Keitel in The Piano at number five. Sure, Harvey isn’t a heart throb but I still think that the piano polishing scene in Jane Campion’s female-focused film is extremely erotic. And Keitel should be admired for his bravery in doing the scene, which is one of the few examples of the female gaze being given priority in a film. I wrote about Campion’s sex scenes back in 2005, about how the focus is on female pleasure in The Piano and In The Cut. So I’d say that that particular nude scene is a favorite of mine.

Jessica Alba wants to see more nude men in magazines.

The Sun reports comments by the actress about her approval of male nudity:

“Men’s magazines have nipples, so why don’t women have a magazine where men show their penises?

“If there was a magazine like that I’d buy it. Nudity’s not a big deal to me.

“I won’t go naked in my films, because I don’t want to. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to see others.”

Jessica recently threated to sue Playboy magazine for putting her on the cover and suggesting she was nude inside.

Hypocritical? Perhaps. Unaware that there are magazines for women offering naked men? Sure. But never mind that, she’s calling for more male nudity, and I’m with her all the way!