It's official. Barbie and Ken have split up. One article said it was probably because Ken could never commit - Barbie had all those wedding outfits but she never used them. Personally I think it's because of Ken's sad lack of definition in the pants department. Or perhaps he was gay all along. I don't think Ken's replacement "Blaine the Australian Boogie Boarder" is going to be much better. He has suspicious-looking bleached hair.

I can imagine the latest toys: Barbie's newest friend is her divorce lawyer, Skipper. See her wield her realistic pre-nup agreement while dressing her in spangly wig and gown...

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I saw an ad for the new California Barbie. "We live to shop!" she cheerfully said. "You can never have too much stuff!"

Isn't it good to know that Barbie is teaching our little girls to shop? Never mind all that aspirational Doctor Barbie stuff, or Pilot Barbie, or President Barbie... "When I grow up, I want to be a consumer!!"

I reminded me of Malibu Stacey on The Simpsons. You pulled the cord in her back and she said "Thinking gives you wrinkles."