Ms Naughty Porn for Women Blog

Archive for September, 2010

Thanks to Violet Blue, I found myself perusing Franklin Veaux’s Human Sex Map, a very clever visual representation of all the various kinks, fetishes and sexual practices that people enjoy. The map groups together sexual behaviours and depicts them as countries, or mountains, or islands. Thus the Land of D/s includes the counties of Orgasm Denial and Old Leather.

I found the map to be quite fascinating and marvelled at the many intersections of fetish. I was also impressed with the way Franklin had been so comprehensive in the coverage of the map. He’d also been careful not to make any judgement calls on the various fetishes and kinks.

And then I scrolled down and discovered where he’d put vanilla sex. And then I got really, really angry.

As you can see from the picture, Franklin has depicted the “land” of vanilla sex as repressed, mundane, frightened, walled in by religious shame and conformity. Oh, and right next to the phobias and acts of non-consent.

Really, Franklin? Is that what you really think of people who don’t choose to partake in fetish and kink? Do you really hold such contempt for all those “ordinary” heterosexual couples who may be perfectly happy with monogamy or “simple” forms of sex?

I found myself fuming at the unfairness of this depiction. Especially given the author’s determination to be non-judgemental about every other sexual practice. It seems to typify a certain attitude within the kink community that demands the spurning of “normal” sex to prove one’s credentials. It’s the same kind of attitude that prompted a gay couple to call me a “breeder” when I was cheering them on at the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. To be part of the group, you have to deride the “other.” In the case of kink, the “other” is vanilla sex.

This attitude fails to acknowledge that plenty of people willingly choose and prefer vanilla sex. They may do so exclusively or they may also engage in other kinds of sex acts. No doubt plenty of kinky types enjoy a nice session of missionary position sex every now and again because, well, it’s just a nice way to have sex.

And yes, I’m standing up for vanilla because I’m a straight married vanilla girl. And I’ve deliberately chosen this lifestyle because it suits me and because it’s part of my committment to my relationship. Not because I’m repressed or frightened or religious or boring.

And dare I say it but repression, fear and religious upbringings may well surround every other fetish or choice of sexual practice as well.

Kinky people have fought long and hard for respect and understanding. They demand we step away from stereotypes and assumptions about motivation. It would be nice if they returned the favour.

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Maybe I’ve been in porn too long but I found myself wondering why TyrePlus decided to make this tyre look for all the world like a penis. Because it does. I mean, look at it. You could consider it as a foreshortened cock or perhaps it’s a glans… with tread on it. But it definitely doesn’t look anything like a tyre. Even one that is out of alignment.

The ad appeared on this page today.

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Apparently some media outlets in the UK are up in arms about the fact that fertility clinics give porn mags to men who have to provide sperm samples.

Well, duh. They’re probably not going to get those lovely, sticky samples any other way. And the plain fact is, to get the sperm, the guy has to whack off. That in itself probably has the conservatives gripping their rosaries in horror.

(I’d like to take a moment to point out that Senator Stephen Conroy – he who wants to install a mandatory internet filter on we Aussies – partook of IVF treatment a while back. Which means he probably had to whack off in one of those fertility clinics, most likely using porn. How did he escape with his morality and Christianity intact?)

What’s interesting about this particular anti-porn crusade is that they’re using all the usual arguments (e.g. it’s “addictive” and “adultery of the mind”) but in this case, the use of porn is very clearly necessary and important.

And if it’s necessary in fertility clinics and doesn’t create any scientifically recognised harm… it can easily be argued that using porn recreationally isn’t a problem either. So naturally, the anti-porn brigade now feels they need to cleanse the fertility clinics of the world to save the rest of us.

This article takes a different approach, providing examples from animal husbandry that shows that sperm are more fertile if the male is stimulated properly. I also liked the final paragraph:

All I’m saying is, when there is a reasonable evidence base that pornography helps people attain what for them are very important goals – ie not being childless – when they’re going through the very strange and unpleasant experience of masturbating alone in a clinic room, with everyone outside knowing what they’re doing and quite possibly some kind of queue, then research showing that pornography works is the sort of thing you might want to take into account, proportionately.

By the way, there’s some classic comments underneath that article:

“So they’re buying, what, about 6 magazines a year? And they have about 6 clinics in their area? With, what, I guess about 5-10 visitors a day? So that’s one magazine being used by around 1,500 men over a year? Ewwwww. That makes the one that got shared round my school sound positively hygienic.”

“Is that the Sun complaining about porn? The same Sun that’s been putting naked women on page 3 for decades now?”

“One quibble — don’t they use a cattle prod to the prostate with bulls? Why no mention of this?”

“But finally, bang on the question at hand, Yamamoto and colleagues in 2000 studied 19 men masturbating into a jar.
They’d need very large jar. Wouldn’t it have been simpler to have them use separate jars at different times?”

“Makes me believe that somewhere out there there’s got to be a perfect configuration of erotic potential that would result in the ejaculation of pure rocket fuel.”

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The Sydney Morning Herald today has an article discussing the Brazilian wax, declaring it to be “here to stay.” While the article doesn’t offer any new information, I found the 100+ comments to be rather fascinating. Specifically, the apparently overwhelming enthusiasm of male commenters towards waxing – and some serious negativity towards female body hair. Some examples:

“Brazilians are literally the best thing that has ever happened to the world. May it always be so.”

“Personally, I find it much nicer playing on a barren pitch than trying to navigate the Amazon. In fact – it’s a deal-breaker.”

“If I want to see hair on a womans body I will grow a moustache.”

“Women should at least trim their pubic hair, it’s a huge turn off when you see a forest down there.”

Perhaps the worst comment was this:

“A small landing strip is fine but in this day and age any more than that is just basically unkempt. You won’t hear many men saying that they want more hair down there and I can assure you in my circles (early 40’s) more than a landing strip is frowned upon by the boys. So to those who are living in denial, stop being lazy and SORT IT OUT.”

I find it rather disturbing to think that, according to the standards of these men, a woman should regularly pay large amounts of money to have her pubic hair ripped out, otherwise she’s unattractive, unclean, lazy and unkempt. I’m really hoping that this attitude is not becoming widespread amongst men. Pity younger women who may not have the confidence to deal with that kind of sexual expectation and so accede to requests to depilate, even though it may not be their preference.

And I should say, I’m not against pubic hair waxing per se. Many women say it makes the pubic area feel more sensitive and they feel more confident about receiving oral sex. Some men also say they prefer bare skin because it’s easier to give cunnilingus and that does seem to be a reasonable claim to make.

But jeez. We’re meant to have body hair. It’s natural and normal. And it should always be a woman’s choice whether she keeps it or removes it. Any guy that says its a “deal breaker” is obviously so selfish he’s not going to be much good in bed anyway. And any guy who considers natural body hair to be a sign of laziness or lack of hygiene is clearly someone who has bought into the impossible ideas of the beauty myth, is ignorant of reality and will be impossible to please, therefore also crap in bed.

And I believe all such demands for hair removal should be met with a strong reply of: “You first mate. I hear the local salon does a great crack, back and sack wax.”

Interestingly, the comments section of that article has thrown up anecdotal evidence that women aren’t so keen on depilation after all:

“I’m a doctor and I can tell you that Brazilian waxes are not as common as the media portays. I see human bodies in all shapes and sizes, across all age groups and it is only a very small minority (in my experience at my clinic) that follow this trend. Perhaps a lot of people talk the talk but do not walk the walk? Another observation I have made (again from my own personal experience in my clinic) is that it is generally only undertaken by young woman (up to the mid twenties). Even amongst the young woman in their thirties that I see, the number of Brazilians are very low.”

It would seem there’s a discrepancy between the hype of the media (and porn) and what is happening in the real world. I hope the wax-eager studs of this world realise they’re in for a lot of “deal breaking”.

In case you’re wondering – I’m a furry princess. I hate pain and I don’t even wax my eyebrows, let alone anything else. Sometimes I shave my legs and armpits and sometimes I don’t. Thankfully my equally furry spouse loves me just the way I am, so this issue doesn’t come up often. But if I was single, I think I’d be echoing the thoughts of these female commenters:

“Nope, never getting a brazilian done. If the sight of trimmed & maintained pubic hair sends a man running, good riddance.”

“And as for getting rid of pubic hair – what a load of marketing bunkum. If you have to rely on hairless pubic bones for good sex, then you can’t be doing it right.”

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I’ve added new movies and reviews to Porn Movies For Women but I thought I’d also throw a few of the more recent ones into a post here, just in case clicking over to another site feels like too much hard work.

The Teacher
Nica Noelle has been incredibly busy with her Sweet Sinner line, she’s onto her 30th film! Her movies put female pleasure first and eschew the standard porn formula for sex. She’s also keen on exploring common female fantasies – like this one:
The blurb: Professors and married couple Darla Crane and Tom Byron take an active interest in their students’ education. For Darla that means helping tough but sweet Mr. Pete find his way as a writer, while Tom assists Alyson Westley with math. But these young students want some sexual tutoring as well, and their come on’s prove too tempting for the older couple to resist. the only problem is, someone’s been watching the lascivious exploits, and the professors soon find themselves on the wrong end of a blackmail scheme. Who’s behind the scandalous plot?

London Sex Project
I met Justin from Joybear Films in Berlin last year and he’s a lovely bloke. He makes erotic films for couples and is a romantic at heart. This film is quite a clever idea – it’s masquerading as a documentary but in reality the whole thing was set up.
The blurb: What is the London Sex Project? Six out of ten people have sex outside their relationship. Leading adult film producer, Joybear Pictures, has commissioned award-winning filmmaker, Oliver McDowell, to find out why. Critics are calling this the most explicit documentary ever made. After months of interviews, McDowell and the LSP research team have found a group of Londoners who are willing to talk openly about sex outside their existing relationship. Each participant has also agreed to be filmed having sex with their lovers, using our hidden cameras. Whilst they are aware of the secret filming, their lovers are unaware.

Mesmerized By You
This is another Playgirl film, churned out monthly from their Playgirl porn factory. If you like soft focus, sexy music and fairly standard porn sex, this is for you.
Official Blurb: As if a spell has been cast over your heart, you become transfixed by the moment. Captivated by animal passions, you are spellbound until the completion of your desires.

An Open Invitation: A Real Swingers Party In San Franciscio
This film was called “The best couples film in years. It was directed by Ilana Rothman from Kink.com. Worth watching just for the real life orgy at the end.
The blurb: An Open Invitation is first and foremost a love story. The tale of a marriage not in trouble but which is elevated and erotically charged by a chance encounter with a couple over diner who plays in the alternative lifestyle, the movie follows the arc of how a couple moves from a staid, predictable and happy life to one filled with adventure, phenomenal sex and, most importantly, open communication about their desires. The movie has been called one of the best couples films of all time, using great on-location footage, subtle acting and well-crafted dialog to build some of the most believable and compelling sex scenes ever filmed. In addition to career-defining performances that earned the film 13 AVN nominations (including best film, best actress/actor, best girl/girl, best orgy), An OPEN Invitation intersects with an actual swingers party for the final scene. 127 real swingers got busy with the stars and each other to create a visually stunning cinematic milestone in adult film history.

Pregnant With Desire
Madison Young continues her queer sexual exploration via her company Heartcore Films. The porn industry considers sex during pregnancy to be a “fetish” but this film seeks to take a far more realistic and respectful approach.
The blurb: Awarding-winning director Madison explores the radically transforming bodies, diverse desires, and passionate energy of four beautiful, pregnant women. On camera interviews included! They reveal their erotic secrets of pregnancy: orgasmic birth best/favorite sex positions, the eroticism of location. Sadie Lune discloses her deep attraction to pregnant women, then lovingly worships Tricksie Treat’s bountiful body all the way to orgasm. Newcomer Ambrosia Rose, radiant in her second trimester, recalls the intense erotic energy experienced during her first pregnancy while she conjures that eroticism by belly dancing and pleasuring herself to climax. Real couple Penny Barber and Eric talk about their lactation fetish before sharing their intimate sexual play with the camera. Miss Muffy and Syd Blakovich discuss erotic fantasies and share a delicious sex scene with strap-on play and sweaty, drawn out orgasms. These women are glowing with sexual energy – truly pregnant with desire!

Matinee
Jennifer Lyon Bell’s film isn’t exactly new but it’s now available in the US via distributor Good Releasing so I wanted to include it here. This is one of my favourite erotic films, well made and seriously sexy!
Best Narrative Short Film, Cinekink NY, 2009, Feminist Porn Awards Honourable Mention 2009
The Blurb: Stage actors Mariah and Daniel play lovers every night, but their onstage romance lacks spark. One slow afternoon, they discover that today’s matinée performance will make or break both their careers… Blue Artichoke Films is a new company run by Jennifer Lyon Bell, a New Yorker who makes her home in Amsterdam. Matinee is an amazing 40 minute exploration of intense sexuality and it’s beautifully acted and shot. This is a REAL film, folks… with some hot sex too!

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The Girl Effect is a new project that aims to break povery through the education of young girls. It says that if we can keep a 12 year old girl in school and regularly seeing a doctor, she’s less likely to end up poor or with HIV and that will help to break the poverty cycle.

This is a great video, simple but compelling.

I should add a link to the Akimbo blog by my friend Audacia Ray who is working in a NGO on these kinds of issues.

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This is a screenshot from the final scene of Boogie Nights, the 1997 film set in the 1970s – the “golden age of porn”. It features Mark Wahlberg as porn star Dirk Diggler, a role loosely based on the life of John Holmes, possibly the world’s most famous woodsman. Throughout the movie, viewers are told all about the huge cock but never actually get to see it. In this last scene, we’re finally given a glimpse of Diggler’s legendary 13 inch penis. Dirk whips it out before a scene, giving himself a pep talk in the mirror.

The cock made the news when it came out, partly because viewers actually got to see a dick in a movie (still rare) and partly because it was fake. The giant rubber dong was made by KNB Effects (who presented Howard Stern with a replica) and was so realistic many still believe Mark Wahlberg really is that well hung.

Turns out that Mark actually kept the prosthesis and was fond of using it for practical jokes.

The actor says he kept the 13in latex appendage he used when he played porn star Dirk Diggler and has only just decided to store it away after previously keeping it to hand to play pranks on his pals.

He explained: “I used to keep it in my desk drawer. And I’d take it out and slap my friends in the face with it. I don’t keep many things from my movies, but that just seemed to have personal significance.” – SMH, via the Times

Alas, Mark is now a devout Catholic and has renounced his penis-slapping ways.

I went looking for video of the final scene and had a hard time finding an uncensored version. I did, however, find this “improved” version which I think is rather hilarious:

“I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.”

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I was trawling about Youtube and found myself looking at male strip show videos. And while I’m quite partial to a good male strip show, they can also be a bit cliched and sometimes the attitude of the dancer can be a bit too agressive or cocky.

And then I found this video. Lord Dashwood is a male burlesque dancer whose routine is a mix of drag and more masculine dancing. He’s quite softly spoken and seems to be an all-round nice guy. His Myspace page says he’s married… and Jewish, in case you’re curious. He won Best Newcomer at the Ministry of Burlesque awards in 2007.

Alas, he’s now retired, if the comment on this news item is to be believed. “I organised a stag do at a burlesque night a few years back, but only because the groom-to-be fancied a go at being one of the acts. He then set up a successful part time stint as burlesque act Lord Dashwood, stripping down to stockings and corsets and what not. He’s retired now because he and his wife have a son.”

I went looking for more male burlesque videos but there’s very few of them and most seem to be performed for gay audiences.

I occasionally have this mad idea that it would be cool to open a male strip bar and host upmarket events for straight women. Sure, I’d feature the Manpower type acts but I’d also love to encourage guys to do something a little different. Cross a few boundaries, wear suspenders, do a Frank N Furter, do acrobatics or pole dance (I think guys who pole dance are sexy). And of course, I’d want to see a range of body shapes, not just the buff muscle bound types, nice as they are.

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I’m back from my cycling adventure. It was challenging and fun. We encountered a huge amount of rain early on which meant the ride was cancelled on one day due to floods. And our tent leaked. I only ended up on the SAG bus once but successfully pedalled the last 4 days. I came home and succumbed to the creeping cold that started last Thursday. I’ve still got it today, it seems to be getting worse. Been pretty much in bed since we returned.

So, I’ll get back to the regularly scheduled smut soon… just not yet.

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OK, while I’m away on my cycling tour I’m going to just schedule a quick post that combines sex and cycling. Just for the hell of it. So…

What do you get when you cross a sex toy with a bicycle seat? The answer is at Gizmag.

And did you know that you shouldn’t have sex with a bicycle because it will land you on a sex offenders list? It happened to this guy in 2007. Poor bloke, was just getting it on with his lovely bike in the privacy of a hotel room and the maids walked in on him. Here’s all the responses to that news item.

Meanwhile, Nerve has recently published Sex Advice From Bike Messengers.

And in Chicago, a sex toy bike delivery service started last year.

See, cycling IS sexy.

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