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Archive for May, 2010

In June 2009 the officers of Australian sex positive adult company Abby Winters was raided by police. In January 2010 Garion Hall was charged with “producing an objectionable film” and also 2 counts of child porn.

The case has finally gone to court and G Media, the company that runs Abby Winters, has been fined $6000 after Hall pleaded guilty to the objectionable film charge. The CP charges were dropped, unsurprisingly. The verdict seems to have been the result of a deal between prosecutors and Hall. It’s possible that the police couldn’t get most of the charges to stand and wanted the whole thing to be over and out of the way. I’m sure the politicans wanted it this way too.

Looking at the broader picture, the end result is very disappointing. This was supposed to be a test case to see if the nonsense law of “making an objectionable film” could even stand up to scrutiny. “Objectionable” is defined in Victorian law as something that is offensive to a reasonable adult. Ideally the court should have tested this supposition by asking if Abby Winter’s films were too shocking for the average joe to deal with.

That didn’t happen. Indeed, the Magistrate declined to even watch the films.

Got that folks? The Victorian legal system has declared that someone had made an objectionable film without even viewing that film.

The Magistrate didn’t even get someone to do the dirty work for her. No “experts” in the form of Australian Classification Board officials were called in to discuss the nature of the films. Instead, we have the first ever prosecution of this criminal law without any decent kind of legal test.

I don’t blame Garion Hall for wanting to just pay a fine and bog off to the US to make his films. Why fuck around with such nonsense laws? And yet it feels like a wasted opportunity to really show just how out of touch our country’s censorship laws are.

It’s also a great big slap in the face for freedom of speech in this country. Rest assured, you can’t make films with explicit sex in Victoria, even if that state has recently put new human rights protection laws onto the book. Seems that the courts won’t bother to consider the craptabulous question of whether it’s “art” or “porn”. You’ll just be fined and told to go elsewhere because Victoria doesn’t stand for that sort of thing. Cue the pearl clutching.

If you’re Australian and you’re shaking your head at this please consider voting for the Australian Sex Party in the senate at the next election. It’s our best chance to get laws like these off the books.

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Way back in 2002 I sat down and made Pure Cunnilingus, a site devoted to male-female cunnilingus. I did this because there were no other porn sites on the web that featured men going down and it bugged me. I like seeing guys lick clit. It’s hot.

Mainstream porn steadfastly avoids the topic of male muff diving. If you search on the standard slang terms like “rug munching” or similar all you will find are girl-girl photos and movies. If something is categorised as “oral sex” it either means blowjobs or women licking other women. There’s a huge industry blind spot when it comes to male-female cunnilingus.

So in 2002 I made my little site, gathering up as many erotic photos of cunnilingus as I could find and writing stories and articles on the topic. Then in 2004 I upgraded it. Since then it’s been rather neglected, I’m afraid, even though I’ve always been fond of it and the other cunnilingus-themed sites I made (The Cunnilingus Site, Muff Diving Men). I’ve also been busy with For The Girls, of course, which is my main priority.

Last month I finally decided to get off my butt and revamp the site. I’ve added over 45 movies (with more to come), a swathe of new galleries, wrote new articles and stories and made the whole thing look new and whizbang. I also redid the tour pages, spending waaaaaay too long messing around with Photoshop. Yes, it’s very pink. But what other colour should one use for a cunnilingus-based website?

So here’s the end result. It’s now the biggest and best male-female cunnilingus site on the internet! Not that there’s many others, of course, but mine is now the largest. Fans of cunnilingus now don’t have to spend hours trawling around the place trying to find anything that might feature male tongue-on-clit. It’s all in one place.

Right now the site isn’t a paysite, as such. It’s a part of the Netverifier network which includes access to a bunch of sites, including my 20 or so other AVS sites. I like Netverifier because it gives surfers good value for money. It may be that I’ll turn it into a proper paysite in the future as the site grows.

Here’s a few pics that I like:

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SMH says: A report in the Australian journal Body Image has found that consumers respond positively to depictions of average-sized men in advertising. The survey asked over 600 students in their late teens to look at mock-up advertisements for products, some using muscle-bound men and others using thinner or chubbier male models. The results showed that the “buffed” models didn’t rate any higher than average guys.

Neither sex responded more positively to the musclebound bodies, and the males even found ads that showed just the item – with no accompanying model – more effective than those posed by classic hunks.

Some participants in the University of Queensland study ”may have attributed the models’ muscularity to vanity or homosexuality, characteristics which they may have found unpleasant or discomforting”, [study leader] Ms Diedrichs wrote.

It’s not surprising that male respondents preferred not to see a male model at all. This is not news; it’s why the guy’s heads are always cut off in porn films and why we never see naked men in mainstream film. To even look at another man carries hints of homosexuality for some people and therefore must not be tolerated.

It think it’s an interesting and useful study that also reveals a lot about gay stereotypes and how we allow men a lot more leeway in their appearance than women.

On a personal level, I don’t mind a nice six pack or well-defined muscles, although if the guy looks like a boofhead, I’m not so interested. I think a man’s smile and his eyes are very important factors in whether he is attractive or not.

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I’m revamping one of my favourite sites Pure Cunnilingus* and it’s partly why my blog has been so quiet this week. I’ve done a bit of research into books on cunnilingus so thought I’d repost the info here.

She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring A Woman
by Ian Kerner
Dispelling the widely held myth of genital penetration as the apogee of sexual pleasure, Kerner, who holds a doctorate in clinical sexology, offers this witty, well-researched manual for “consistently leading women to orgasm” through cunnilingus. Loaded with practical anatomical information (the clitoris has 18 distinct parts, and more nerve fibers than any other part of the human body) and graphic line drawings, the book also touches on the less mechanical, more psychological aspects of oral sex, including the three assurances every woman needs from her lover to feel comfortable: (1) “you enjoy it as much as she does”; (2) “there’s no rush”; and (3) “Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence.”

Since studies show the average woman takes about 20 minutes to reach her first orgasm during a typical sex session, while men take a mere four minutes, Kerner advises men to delay their own climax and make oral sex “coreplay” (”the substantive phase in which sexual tension builds, culminates and then releases itself through the female orgasm”), instead of foreplay. Breaking down six stages of coreplay, from the “first kiss” to orgasm, Kerner speaks to both beginners and more seasoned lovers. His candor concerning his own bout with sexual dysfunction adds a compassionate tone and credibility to this decidedly pro-female methodology.

Oral Sex She’ll Never Forget: 50 Positions and Techniques That Will Make Her Orgasm Like She Never Has Before
by Sonia Borg
For many women intercourse isn’t enough to get them from “oh” to “oh-YES!”. Getting a woman to orgasm has more to do with movement of your lips than what you do with your hips. This ultimate oral sex guide teaches you all of the mouth moves you need to go down on a woman skillfully.

Oral Sex She’ll Never Forget gives 50 unique cunnilingus experiences from start to finish. You’ll learn how to combine positions, mouth moves, hand strokes, sex toys, seduction and setting to create the most exciting oral sex experience for her. Surprise your lover with something new and exciting.

Cunnilingus: Better Oral Sex
by Ian Bendtsen
Ian Bendtsen has for many years practiced cunnilingus – the art of giving oral pleasure to women – with a rather large number of women in a sexually emancipated milieu. In this book he tells his story openly, wanting to share his knowledge and experience. In praise and for pleasure for both men and women. Cunnilingus – better oral sex is a book about pleasure, pleasuring each other. It is the result of gentle pressure from many of the writer’s friends, both male and female, over the past years, urging him to write a book about cunnilingus. Ian Bendtsen is 38 years old and holds a degree from the Business School in Aarhus. He works as a senior consultant of business development and innovation. The writer has for many years been part of a sexually emancipated milieu – and he is the unofficial European champion of cunnilingus.

The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure
by Violet Blue
Blogger, author and sex expert Violet Blue provides everything you ever wanted to know about cunnilingus. Full of facts, advice and even erotic fiction, this book is a must-have for anyone contemplating the fine art of pussy licking.

Blurb: The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus is a complete step-by-step guide to oral sex for everyone – men and women! Inside has all you need to know to give and receive exquisite oral pleasure. Not only does this book include techniques for mind-blowing orgasms, advanced positions, tips and tricks, toys, games, fantasy and power play, and helpful tips on preparation and hygiene, but it also has a clear, illustrated guide to the female anatomy and what to do with it! In between each chapter, is a steamy short story by Alison Tyler to keep you motivated. Also, this book is friendly to all sexual preferences.

The Guide To Eating Out
by Palmer Strong
Everything You Know About Oral Sex is Wrong and I Can Help You Fix That! What you’ll learn in this book: – The critical things you must do within five minutes of getting her panties off – How to read her body language, so you’ll know exactly what she wants.even if she doesn’t say anything – How to make a woman feel totally comfortable with your tongue between her legs. even if it’s the very first time you’re together – The one, simple thing you can do during oral sex with a woman that will build sexual tension and leave her eagerly waiting for more – How to work a woman up to the “I must have him!” feeling of ecstasy, which will leave her begging you for something more than just your tongue – What you must do in the bedroom to keep a woman interested in you forever or at least as long as you’re interested – The one mistake almost all men do, which actually repels women. and often shuts the door on any chances you have of her wanting to have intercourse – How to make a great and lasting impression on every woman you meet and eat.

Cunnilingus:: 50 Ways To Lick Your Lover
by Brian Hodges
50 ACTUAL ways to lick your lover! Want to master the beautiful art of cunnilingus? You can now learn everything you ever wanted to know about pleasuring the vagina with your mouth… but were too afraid to ask about. This is the most comprehensive book ever made on woman focused oral sex, including 50 mild to wild techniques to try on your lover. This book is the master collection of years of research into various techniques, movements, patterns, speeds, directions, pressure points, and general combinations as it relates to her most feminine of openings. Forget an orgy or a three-way; you can have more fun 1 on 1 just following this book. Open a bottle of wine. Take off her shirt. Take off her bra. Light a candle as she gets topless. Admire her nipples getting hard in anticipation. Take off her pants, so she is almost naked. Take off her panties, so she is fully nude. Lay her down on her back. Open her legs. Then, try any quantity or combination of the 50 steps to really light her fire.

This book Includes 100+ illustrations with explanatory text. Straight men, as well as new lesbians can benefit from the techniques in this book. You will travel from her breasts to her ass exploring all of her erogenous zones, but will focus on the most important target; her clitoris, or “clit”. Some people will view this as XXX, porn, or NC-17, and it is likely to be banned by some countries… but what it truly is… is a beautiful oral version of the Kama Sutra. Oral meets tantric, with 50 easy to follow steps and ideas to try. Find her own favorite combination of techniques, and keep improving on it….

Tasting Her: Oral Sex Stories
The primal sense of taking in the essence, taste, smell, and sexy up-closeness of a lover is a powerful aphrodisiac that affects one physically, mentally, and emotionally. Once this special connection is made, the heat of desire, passion, and lust focus before one’s eyes and tie arousal directly to them. Tasting Her explores the ultimate joys of oral sex from a distinctly male point of view.

“The book is a triumph of erotic fiction, offering a myriad of wonderful explorations of female oral sex, all of them different and all of them compelling.”

* If you followed the link to Pure Cunnilingus, you’ll see it’s a bit dated. In only a few days I’m relaunching it with a new tour, thousands more photos and a stash of sexy videos, plus more articles and fiction. I love this site and it’s going to be soooo much better, very soon.

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Just a quick post to draw your attention to Why feminism must embrace reason and shun religion, an excellent article that questions the feminist movement’s apparent “blind spot” when it comes to religion, especially given the appalling sexism that exists in almost all religions, especially the monotheistic ones.

It seems to me that some feminists are afraid of a critical discussion about religious faith, because of the ever-looming label of ‘intolerant’, ‘prejudiced’, or, when it comes to any religion besides Christianity, ‘racist’. When in fact, there is a big difference between questioning an idea (in this case: faith in the existence of a specific supernatural entity in spite of a complete lack of evidence) and hating a person or group of people. Saying that critics of religion are prejudiced is as moronic as calling feminists ‘man-haters’.

It’s a very good point. I think this desire to be tolerant is actually doing harm; it means that feminists aren’t speaking out loudly enough when it comes to the treatment of women within Islam, to use only one example. It’s this relativism that sees some people defending female genital mutilation or violence against women because it’s part of someone’s “culture”.

Human rights trump culture and religion every time. If feminism is truly about giving women equal rights and choice, it needs to remember that.

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So I’ve been rather serious lately. Here’s some naked men to make up for it.

* A “unicorn chaser” is a link or pic you pass on after you’ve offered something serious or less-than-pleasant.

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This is an ad from Egypt encouraging women to cover themselves to prevent rape (via this post at Pharyngula?.

That’s right girls, if you’re raped, it’s your own fault for being uncovered and letting the flies stick to you. Never mind the education campaign telling men that rape is bad. Responsibility and honour lies with women.

I’ve stated before that I think religion is responsible for oppressing women and Islam is one of the worst offenders. This is just a further example. It’s similar to statements made a couple of years ago by a Sydney imam who compared unveiled women to “uncovered meat” which is available to the cats.

Islam is obsessed with sexuality. It defines all contact between men and women as being sexual. There’s no such thing as a platonic friendship in this religion. Women are defined according to their bodies and their sexual availability. Men are considered to be beasts with uncontrollable desires. If a man rapes, it’s the woman’s fault for being “too tempting.” I find the whole philosophy to be abhorrent and degrading to both sexes.

There is a debate going on at the moment about the banning of the burqa in Belgium and France. I support the ideals behind it but I think it will ultimately do more harm than good. Education, not prohibition, is the way to go.

Today in the Sydney Morning Herald there’s an opinion piece called The Burqa is an Affront to Feminism, arguing for a ban in Australia. The writer goes astray when ranting about “teenagers today” but she makes a few good points. Unfortunately she doesn’t address this basic issue of sexuality within Islam that creates the whole dilemma.

The comments are running hot. Among them someone has posted the manifesto of the Council of Ex-Muslims in Britain. I really like what they have to say so I’m reposting it here.

1. Universal rights and equal citizenship for all. We are opposed to cultural relativism and the tolerance of inhuman beliefs, discrimination and abuse in the name of respecting religion or culture.
2. Freedom to criticise religion. Prohibition of restrictions on unconditional freedom of criticism and expression using so-called religious ’sanctities’.
3. Freedom of religion and atheism.
4. Separation of religion from the state and legal and educational system.
5. Prohibition of religious customs, rules, ceremonies or activities that are incompatible with or infringe people’s rights and freedoms.
6. Abolition of all restrictive and repressive cultural and religious customs which hinder and contradict woman’s independence, free will and equality. Prohibition of segregation of sexes.
7. Prohibition of interference by any authority, family members or relatives, or official authorities in the private lives of women and men and their personal, emotional and sexual relationships and sexuality.
8. Protection of children from manipulation and abuse by religion and religious institutions.
9. Prohibition of any kind of financial, material or moral support by the state or state institutions to religion and religious activities and institutions.
10. Prohibition of all forms of religious intimidation and threats.

* Here’s another post about women, “modesty” and Islam.

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A couple of years ago I expressed disappointment that Naomi Wolf had come out and declared “modesty” in the form of religious veiling to be feminist. Before that I was sick of her endlessly recycled article on porn.

Now she’s touring Australia and is once again talking porn, this time in an interview in the Sydney Morning Herald. I waded in, begrudgingly and emerged with mixed feelings about what she had to say.

Put briefly, Naomi Wolf still thinks porn is bad, mmmkay. Her reason for this is that “it’s definitely affecting young women and men’s sexual development deeply, deeply, deeply.” She argues that seeing porn from an early age is changing the way young people have sex and that it is not encouraging women to embrace their sexuality properly. She bases this mainly on anecdotal evidence, tales of female students fronting up to doctor’s offices with anal fissures after a first date. She says: “Young women do compare themselves to pornography and they do have porn running in their heads when they’re in sexual situations. I’m not a prude, but I don’t think that’s good for their sexual confidence or confidence in their bodies.”

I’m conflicted about these kinds of statements because I do acknowledge the concern there. Mainstream porn can send a lot of negative messages about body image and sexuality and we need to be talking to young people about it.

What I’m uncertain about is whether all these frightening anecdotal stories of girls being fucked over by ignorant porn-loving guys are true on a large scale. Are young people really imitating what they see in porn? Have anal and facials really become de-rigeur? Or are today’s young people actually more sex-, tech- and porn-savvy than that? Where’s the actual research?

One of the things that’s never mentioned during these “teens look at porn!” panics is the idea that, alongside all that easy access to porn is a simultaneous easy access to information. Girls in my day (and Naomi’s) weren’t able to find porn within a few keystrokes but we also weren’t really able to easily find information about sex. Cosmo “101 positions” articles and Dolly sex advice columns were about the best we could do.

Now things are different. Your average teen can easily look up information on any aspect of sex (type “sex advice into Google”). There is a vast amount of sexual information available on the internet, including sites like Go Ask Alice and Scarleteen that are specifically focused on young people. Add to that the many feminist sites discussing porn and sexuality and even sites like Make Love Not Porn which seeks to counter misconceptions about sex and porn.

So while I’m happy to acknowledge that it’s a problem if teens are using porn as sex education, I’m wondering if they’re really the startled ingenues everyone assumes them to be.

And I guess the question is: if we are worried about how young people use porn, what’s the response? I’m all for education and communication, talking about sex and the way that sex is depicted in porn and in society as a whole. Naomi’s solution, unfortunately, is abstinence:

Research shows that pornography desensitises; if you consume it a lot, you need more or more extreme or more and more intense images in order to get the same sensations over time… The best thing we can do is try to persuade young women and men that it’s not good for their sex lives, it’s not good for their self-confidence, and they’ll have better sex if they choose not to let this stuff shape their sense of sexuality.

My question is: what research? Are we talking the same research done by those earnest Christians who are out to prove that porn is “addictive”? Because their philosophical position and Naomi’s end up in a similar place: Porn is bad, mmmkay. (See my previous post on Dirty Girls Ministries to see just how similar their arguments can get.)

Naomi was asked about where non-mainstream and queer porn fits in. Interestingly, she acknowledges that some porn can be liberating and self-affirming but then she quickly skirts around the issue, returning to her main argument that it is desensitising. It’s not surprising she brushes past the topic because I think it’s one of the great sticking points in her case.

There are plenty of people who are enjoying non-mainstream porn and discovering new aspects of their sexuality through erotic imagery and writing. Porn can revive relationships and help women to orgasm for the first time. It can showcase different sexualities, different body types, different techniques and different experiences and this can be very reassuring to see. Porn like the films of Tony Comstock can also affirm the beauty of the sex act and the way it expresses love and intimacy. I simply can’t accept that fact that porn is, in essence, a completely negative thing that will always impact badly on a person’s sexuality. This assertion is just not true.

It really keeps coming back to the idea that porn is this giant, heterogeneous thing, something that only ever shows hetero sex where the woman is submissive or abused. Sure, there’s far too much of that out there and we do need to be talking about it and discussing its merits or lack thereof. But to dismiss the whole idea of porn as automatically damaging is far too simplistic an argument.

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I’ve long considered the idea of “porn addiction” to be bullshit. Now I’ve got another example of just how bullshit it is.

Dirty Girls Ministries (I’m not going to link to them) is a new website created by evangelical Christian group the Westside Family Church. It aims to “help women struggling with pornography addiction” through “confession, prayer support, resources for accountability and many other tools.”

Yes folks, the loony Christians have discovered porn for women and they’re determined to put a stop to it. A Focus On The Family website, promoting Dirty Girls, reported with horror that: “Porn producers are actually producing this erotica for women. It’s more based on relationships, more storylines, things like that.”

Dirty Girls Ministries offers a forum for women to confess their “addiction”, a blog that talks an awful lot about Jeeezus, a filtering program to “fight internet temptation” and podcasts. And, surprise surprise, there’s a link to a “30 day purity program”, an online workshop available for the low low price of $99. Yes folks, you too can be pure, but only if you’re prepared to pay for it.

As you click through the site you’re constantly bombarded by the words “sin”, “dirty”, “pure”, “clean”. This site declares looking at porn to be adultery, it’s absolute sin that you must turn away from and, of course, embrace the church instead. Preferably with your wallet open. Dirty Girls Ministries offers to replace your porn “addiction” with a shitload of guilt and shame. Check out this blog post:

I will always be dirty. In reality. My cleanliness has NOTHING to do with what I watch or don’t watch. It has everything to do with the condition of my heart. My heart, when left on its own, will drift back to dirty.

Yes, I won’t view pornography again and I won’t have an extramarital affair, either emotional or physical, but whether or not I’m a DIRTY GIRL has less to do with what do and more to do with what direction I face my heart.

If my life is faced toward the Cross, if that is where I truly place my eyes, then the unkemptness of the world has less of a hold on my heart. I will desire good things and the ick of immorality sicken my stomach.

This kind of guilt trip is pretty much a modus operandi for many religions. If they can make you feel bad about natural human desires and needs, then you’ll think the church is your only hope for redemption.

Here are the facts: Addiction is a physical condition, a medical diagnosis. It’s the body’s response to certain chemicals. Nicotine, alcohol and drugs create addictions. Porn doesn’t.

Porn offers arousal and sexual fantasy. It usually results in masturbation or sex. If a person enjoys that response, there is nothing wrong with that. It is perfectly natural for a human being to enjoy sex and to want more of it. That’s what we’re biologically designed to do. There is nothing sinful or shameful about it.

Of course, some people can develop an obsession or compulsion, which is entirely different to addiction. If someone spends too much time with porn and it puts their life out of balance, then there’s a problem. But it’s not the porn that’s the cause, it’s that person’s obsessive personality.

Fact is, plenty of people can look at porn, enjoy it and then get on with their life. They can happily make use of it as a tool in their sex lives, just like a vibrator. And then it’s put away and done with. Most people are also able to make critical judgements about what they’re watching, decide if it’s good or bad, and make decisions about where porn belongs in their life.

There are some people, however, who can’t do this thanks to their obsessive personalities. Those people should be seeing qualified counsellors to get their life back together. They absolutely should NOT be handed over to religious nutjobs who make the situation worse by inculculating the victim with further guilt and shame… and then extract cash for the privilege.

This is why the regular use of the term “porn addiction” (and “sex addiction”) is so troubling. It’s actually part of the religious right’s wider anti-sex agenda. They’re opposed to porn and they will use any devious means necessary to get rid of it. The usual arguments about “sin” started to fall on deaf ears so they began to couch it in medical terms, in an attempt to garner support for bans.

Thus you end up with Judith Reisman telling the US senate that porn produces poisonous “erototoxins” that damage the brain. According to Wikipedia, Reisman defined “erototoxins” as being the natural chemicals and hormones testosterone, adrenaline, oxytocin, glucose, dopamine, serotonin, and phenylethylamine.

That’s right. These people actually think testosterone and the pleasure-producing chemicals serotonin and oxytocin are harmful. They also push the idea that masturbation is sinful and addictive because, according to the X3pure website: “Studies have shown that ninety-nine percent of all masturbation involves lust and mental fantasy*, which disconnects you from real relationships with real people. Despite these difficulties, masturbation can be conquered. If your desire is to change, God can heal and bring restoration.”

And these fundamentalists will keep pushing their message that all porn and pleasure is dangerous because it is ultimately gets more people through the doors of their church and paying 10% tithes into the church coffers.

Unfortunately, Dirty Girls Ministries was given a publicity boost this week thanks to a credulous New York Times article about it. The “journalist” John Leland didn’t bother to interview any actual psychologists or skeptics for opposing viewsand the NYT was perfectly happy to include links to several religious anti-porn organisations.

I’ve said it before in this blog: I think today’s mainstream porn is extremely problematic and it is well worth discussing its meaning in our society. But the fact remains that it is not addictive. And if the media continues to push this religiously-defined way of thinking about porn, the results will ultimately be far more harmful than any scare campaign the churches can think up.

For a different and more humourous perspective on the religious idea of “porn addiction” please visit my site ExExExChurch.

* What does the other 1% involve?

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I have a number of really long-winded blog posts that I need to write but I’ve been busy doing other things the last couple of days. So in order that the blog doesn’t look too dead, I thought I’d whack up a couple of sexy pictures.

I want to see more guys wearing glasses in porn. It’s sexy. And I’ve just written an erotic story for For The Girls about an encounter between two people who met via Twitter. The guy wears glasses.

And dreadlocks. Aren’t they sexy? We need to see more of those too!

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