Comments on: “Why Women Hate Porn” (And Why They Like It)

By: Lisa

Lisa — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:13:59 +0000

I also agree that these arguments are over-simplified but they are quick points, not a discursive article. I think pornography is like a legalised drug and that it is like playing with fire. Many will argue for its benefits but just google “girl cums in guy’s face” and see how many links pop up when compared with “guy cums in girl’s face.” These degrading and patriarchal mainstream ways in which pornography function don’t appear to be changing. I don’t see a reason to keep pornography around, even if there were more porns made with women cumming in guys’ faces. Hollywood has enough sex scenes and porn should just be done away with. Like a drug, it has ruined marriages, needs treatment, and is generally rejected by society because of its lack of creativity and tact. I totally agree with sex scenes that aren’t degrading, but that seems unimaginable in the porn industry.

By: kayci

kayci — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:06:12 +0000

Thank you for this.It was very well thought out and well written.

I enjoy watching porn myself. but when men try to hide it from you it can make you feel like he thinks you’re stupid.
just in case you wanted another reason why a lot of women dont like it.

By: Bonnie

Bonnie — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:34:38 +0000

Pornography will always be looked down upon by mainstream society so long as it continues to degrade the members of both sexes. Mainstream pornography is degrading to both men and women. Men, because all men are supposed to like “sluts, whores and bitches” and not care about women; and, women, for the same reason, and, also, because women are only supposed to cater to men’s needs, not their own. Women, according to mainstream society, only need love, romance and money-not sex. IF a woman likes sex and dares to tell people, it’s a shock because women are not supposed to do that.

So long as everyone continues to accept this, no growing will ever occur in the pornography industry, or on personal sexual fronts either.

By: Pheagan

Pheagan — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 06:58:09 +0000

I said much the same thing on Jezebel, but for me, I just don’t like American porn, for many of the reasons you describe, but mostly because the women almost always seem to be in pain. You see shots of completely dry vaginas and the girls have this look on their face where they’re trying to look like they’re having fun but they’re in pain. I never had a problem with boyfriends and porn, but I’ve noticed where bad sex is, so is porn. One boyfriend in particular never ate me out, not once, despite many blow jobs, and I had painful sex with him because his ego was constantly on the verge of self destruction– he didn’t understand why I didn’t just get wet looking at him (thanks, porn!). And when I tried to show him things I liked he’d get all- “but how am I supposed to know that? You’ve got to admit, no one else wants to do stuff like that, that’s weird.” Like, a fucking argument about touching my clit while boning (which most girls like, actually, but God knows you never see it in porn). This guy watched porn all the time. So I am fairly sure that if you watch porn, and don’t pay attention to what the real live girls you’re with like, then what you get is a person who is fucking horrible in bed.

What I don’t understand is this. Men want to be studs, they want to please women. So they say. Why THE FUCK are there no porn guides to what the fuck to do in bed?

By: links for 2008-07-02 « don’t ya wish your girlfriend was smart like me?

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:42:09 +0000

[...] “Why Women Hate Porn” (And Why They Like It) great post from Ms. Naughty! When are we going to stop making simple conclusions and instead ask what about the sex industry turns women off so much (hint: it’s not that women don’t like it!) (tags: sexuality sex_positive female_sexuality female_pleasure phallocentrism) [...]

By: lindabeth

lindabeth — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:25:52 +0000

A great list!

It really infuriates me when research observes a reality (ie that women don’t watch porn) and assume that this is because women don’t like it, because “of course” porn is just a neutral entertainment outlet…your list attempts to push the discussion to why…the same thing goes for other social “realities” (ie women and science, or women leaving the workforce) where instead of looking to the underlying sexism in the institutions, traditioanlly gendered assumptions are made. No matter what the “study”, it’s a bunch of hooey.

By: Jiz Lee

Jiz Lee — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 20:40:35 +0000

I love your Why Women DO Like Porn List!
I want to elaborate on #4, or at least open up some more thought on the educational possibilities of explicit video.

One thought is that for marginalized sexualities and behaviors, porn is a validating experience that can empower its viewers as much as it inspires people new to the idea.

Case in point: queer porn. Porn featuring performers who are part of a community not normally seeing themselves in pornography. For example, people who are genderqueer/andro and mixed race. A trans person who is thinking about taking hormones, but who has never seen a role model in a sexual realm would benefit from a positive example of queer sexuality.

Thanks for the great post!

By: Alexis

Alexis — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 12:51:45 +0000

The blog post itself aside, i found the comments on that post infuriating. How /dare/ these people make totalising statements about the nature of the people and relationships involving porn? There’s this overall tone that porn is inevitably a negative influence that can’t coexist in an intimate and loving long-term relationship in an ongoing way. Well, my (bigendered) self and my two (female) partners of almost 4 and over 5 years would strongly beg to differ. Porn, human relationships and the interaction between these two things are hugely complex and multifaceted things, and these self-righteous jerks making these general pronouncements from on high need to realise that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in their philosophy.