Comments on: No, I’m Not Having Children http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/ Ms Naughty looks at porn for women, the adult industry and sex in general. Tue, 07 Oct 2008 07:50:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: » Happiness Is No Children http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-114971 » Happiness Is No Children Sat, 10 May 2008 02:16:15 +0000 http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-114971 [...] decision not to have kids was hard to make, but it was the right one for [...] [...] decision not to have kids was hard to make, but it was the right one for [...]

]]> By: no name slob http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-81167 no name slob Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:50:34 +0000 http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-81167 This is smart and spot-on. Thanks for writing it. I'm in the childfree camp myself--and I, too, consider it a feminist decision in some ways. As you say, the matter of simply having the freedom to make the choice is huge and owes much to past feminists. And for me, while the decision is, at its core, more about me as a person than me as a woman, I am all too aware that there is far more pressure on women to make the "right" societal decisions in this arena -- look forward to having children, have them, rejoice. Repeat. This is smart and spot-on. Thanks for writing it. I’m in the childfree camp myself–and I, too, consider it a feminist decision in some ways. As you say, the matter of simply having the freedom to make the choice is huge and owes much to past feminists. And for me, while the decision is, at its core, more about me as a person than me as a woman, I am all too aware that there is far more pressure on women to make the “right” societal decisions in this arena — look forward to having children, have them, rejoice. Repeat.

]]> By: msnaughty http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-80004 msnaughty Mon, 29 Oct 2007 12:34:44 +0000 http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-80004 Thanks for your comments. The issue of regret is so hugely fraught with guilt, but it's also something that is never discussed - mainly for the sake of the child. And yet it remains. I don't even know if there's counselling for women who feel they've made a mistake; perhaps the general view is that you're a parent now so just get on with it. And of course many people simply adjust and learn to be happy. I personally didn't want to risk that regret, because it's something I couldn't undo. Chris, I'm glad your daughter is OK. Actually, I think most kids are oblivious to any parental ambivalence if it's not made completely obvious. I've talked to so many parents who roll their eyes and complain, but then they say "Yeah, but you still love them." And the kids are loved, in spite of everything. In any case, I am resolved to be the best-loved aunt, the one who spoils everybody rotten and then hands them back. Thanks for your comments. The issue of regret is so hugely fraught with guilt, but it’s also something that is never discussed - mainly for the sake of the child. And yet it remains. I don’t even know if there’s counselling for women who feel they’ve made a mistake; perhaps the general view is that you’re a parent now so just get on with it. And of course many people simply adjust and learn to be happy.

I personally didn’t want to risk that regret, because it’s something I couldn’t undo.

Chris, I’m glad your daughter is OK. Actually, I think most kids are oblivious to any parental ambivalence if it’s not made completely obvious. I’ve talked to so many parents who roll their eyes and complain, but then they say “Yeah, but you still love them.” And the kids are loved, in spite of everything.

In any case, I am resolved to be the best-loved aunt, the one who spoils everybody rotten and then hands them back.

]]> By: Ashley Hill http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-79965 Ashley Hill Mon, 29 Oct 2007 04:40:27 +0000 http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-79965 I have a lot of respect for people who really weigh the decision of having a child -- I wish everyone who was planning a family would do it. And it blows that people would judge a woman who doesn't want to have children. I have a cousin who had an unplanned pregnancy. She and her husband love their child despite not wanting children beforehand, but giving birth damn near killed her, and even she was apprehensive about telling people she didn't want another. Society should not put that kind of pressure on women and couples. I have a lot of respect for people who really weigh the decision of having a child — I wish everyone who was planning a family would do it. And it blows that people would judge a woman who doesn’t want to have children. I have a cousin who had an unplanned pregnancy. She and her husband love their child despite not wanting children beforehand, but giving birth damn near killed her, and even she was apprehensive about telling people she didn’t want another. Society should not put that kind of pressure on women and couples.

]]> By: Chris http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-79797 Chris Sun, 28 Oct 2007 07:01:28 +0000 http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-79797 "I sometimes wonder how many women enter motherhood and really regret the decision." Count one here. Luckily she survived me, head intact. She's okay. :) Love Helens Clark & Mirren. Go Julia! “I sometimes wonder how many women enter motherhood and really regret the decision.”

Count one here. Luckily she survived me, head intact. She’s okay. :)

Love Helens Clark & Mirren. Go Julia!

]]> By: Selena Kitt http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-79209 Selena Kitt Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:23:15 +0000 http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/2007/10/26/no-im-not-having-children/#comment-79209 If you don't want children, I say it's a good thing you're not having them. I wish more people would give serious thought to the matter. If you don’t want children, I say it’s a good thing you’re not having them. I wish more people would give serious thought to the matter.

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